


Being Pretty Is Not A Pirate Requirement

by brokenhighways



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Beaches, CEO, Crack, Desert Island Fic, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Music, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-12 20:41:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9089947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: When former pirate turned record executive Jensen Ackles is forced to return to piracy he's not happy to find that his former first mate, Jared, is now Captain of his own ship. While competing for the same load of treasure both of their vessels are run aground and they find themselves trapped on a mystery island. It turns out that they’re being help captive by one of Jensen’s adversaries and they are forced to put their differences aside and work together in order to break free.





	1. Storm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [candygramme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/candygramme/gifts).



> Note: So, this is partly complete, which I feel awful about. I'm also sorry that it's late. I'm posting this so that you get something. I wish it was fully complete but I didn't have long enough (or rather I ran out of time). Working until midnight kinda messes up one's schedule. *cries* Anyway, I went with one of your prompts because it was WAY out of my comfort zone. I think it still is but I tried to put a unique twist on it. I hope you like this first part. 
> 
> Happy Belated Christmas & Holidays!!
> 
> Thanks to the mods for the extension.
> 
> ETA: The weekend is over for me but I am working on this! Promise. Happy New Year!

** **

**One**

Many men have faced the same turmoil that Jensen Ackles faces today. Great men have faced adversities. Men like Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff and...okay, so maybe his view on _great_ is a little bit warped but still, he used to be a _pirate_. It’s not like he’s a stranger to greed. Greed is practically his middle name. He's got to get some props for being the CEO of America's worst record label, Pirate Records. Yes, they are millions in debt and yes, their biggest claim to fame is that time at the Grammys when Miley Cyrus bumped into him.

Still, this is literally a rags to riches story that Hollywood would make if he was stupid enough to let them. He's not, so, he calls his right hand man, Chris, into his situation room and formulates a plan. The company is sinking fast and unlike a pirate ship, as far as he can see, there isn’t any coral reef keeping them stuck here.

While Jensen was a competent captain, his former First Mate Jared was much better at keeping the financial side of things together. Initially, Jared was the Quartermaster but when they found themselves down in numbers he assumed First Mate duties. From that point onwards, there was an…. _interesting_ relationship between the two of them. Pirates didn’t usually like to bother themselves with romance past a quick fumble in a tavern, but let’s just say that Jensen is a romantic at heart. He’s into all of that _love_ crap, hell, his favourite movie is _Titanic_ which is an almost cruel sense of irony given how he and Jared left things.

Anyway, that was all in the past. Right now, he has to figure out how to get the hell out of California before the debt collectors come calling.

"What's going on in the pirate world these days?" he asks Chris. "Any treasure floating around out there?" Resorting back to piracy has always been the very last thing he wanted to do but, well, it's this or facing off with the IRS. Jensen knows which one he prefers.

"There's a NKOTB cruise setting sail soon," Chris points out. "Potentially a lot of jewellery and cash to be made there."

"Nah, that would just be cruel," Jensen replies. " _New Kids On The Block_ is punishment enough."

And he's not just saying that because Joey McIntyre refused to sign to Pirate Records, the ungrateful bastard.  "Find something _legitimate_ and let me know. We need to set sail by the end of next week."

“ _Legitimate_ legitimate or pirate legitimate?”

Jensen doesn't even bother to answer that.

"What about the record company?" Chris asks. "Are we just going to let it fold?"

Jensen frowns. "We're pirates, Chris. Not novices."

There's a long pause before Chris says, "So...that's a yes then?"

Jensen sighs despondently. "Pretty much."

~

They set sail two weeks later in their vessel, Crosshairs. The plan is to cross the Caribbean Ocean, so he and Chris board a small plane and meet the rest of his crew in Honduras. Luckily for Jensen, one of the first things he did when Pirate Records had enough equity was buy a small cruise ship. With the help of the crew, it’s now a formidable pirate ship.

“Have you accounted for everyone?” Jensen asks Chris when he’s done putting his stuff in his quarters. It’s a nice room, if not a little bit small.

Chris looks up at him, with a Bluetooth headset attached to his hair and a clipboard on his hand. “We’ve got a First Mate - that’s me, Steve is our Quartermaster. I didn’t know what a Boatswain was so….I guess we can pick one later. Cabin Boy, yup. I figured we didn’t need a carpenter, so I got a Technical Analyst--and well, I’ll give you a list but I hired a Holistic Therapist in lieu of a surgeon.

Jensen stares at him. “Did you _Google_ a list of Pirate crew members? And what the hell is a Holistic Therapist?”

Chris shrugs. "Dunno, but I figure anyone with the word 'therapist' in their job title should be able to clean up cuts and bruises."

Jensen shakes his head wearily. If he hadn't been too busy setting up a fake paper trail for Pirate Records, he would have organised his own crew. Still, anything is better than nothing.

"Do we at least have a _decent_ cabin boy?" he asks. Cabin boys are important. Jensen's not really the kind to ask for anything but nothing screams authority like having someone at his beck and call to things he's too lazy to do himself.

"Jake Abel," Chris informs him sheepishly. "Look, he was threatening to sue us for loss of earnings. I had to do something."

Jensen slaps the side of Chris' head. "You might as well just cuff us all and hand us to the cops."

Jake Abel is what Jensen calls shark bait. Legend has it that pirates would once throw any pests overboard in order to ward away the large toothed animals of the sea. That's kind of what Jensen wants to do with Jake Abel. See, Jake was supposed to be Pirate Records answer to Bieber. The internet sensation that everyone either loved or hated. The money maker; the guy who would send Pirate Records to the top.

Of course, that's not how it went. No, Jake went and got sloshed at some college party and ended up leaving a vomit streak on the  red carpet that Lindsay Lohan probably would have been proud of. All in all, he cost Jensen upward of ten million dollars. He might have been a reformed pirate, but losing money still made him murderous. Well, not _murderous_ murderous, but if he had found a way to maroon Jake he would have. Along with Maroon Five, because honestly Adam Levine was very rude to him the one time they flew in business class together.

"Fine. What about that other thing I asked you to do?" Jensen asks.

Chris' phone beeps but he ignores it in favour of grimacing, "Look, Cap'n, I get that you want to make amends but Jared has moved on."

"Did you offer to give him some of our liquidated assets?" Jensen asks. "Maybe rightfully claiming what's his will make him come back?"

"No. He's literally moved on. He's the Captain of Cinderella's Other Shoe."

Jensen's ashamed to say that his mouth falls open.

Chris continues because he's got as much tact as a pair of cacti. "That's the ship that's been pulling off all of those audacious robberies. Just last month, they found this beautiful chest. Rumors are that what was inside was worth millions and--"

"I get it, okay, I subscribe to Arr! Weekly too," Jensen snaps. "I just didn't know that Jared was Captain. Dammit, he belongs to _our_ crew."

"Or maybe he belongs to you," Chris says. "Either way, I'm pretty sure his next target is our only target. That cruise liner carrying the jewels owned by Queen of Crystalshade."

The jewelry wasn't really Jensen's idea of breaking back into piracy smoothly, but he promised the rest of his crew a huge payday just for joining him. If he puts a toe out of line he can't say that none of them would rat him out. So he's stuck going along with this plan.

"Well, we have to get there first," Jensen states. "Maybe we can even collaborate with Jared's crew?'

"You left him on an abandoned island to fend for himself," Chris replies. "He's more likely to kill you."

"That wasn't my fault," Jensen insists. "It was a vote. We...he stole that item, and it was either punishment or a _mutiny_."

Technically, Jared didn't steal the item. And what Chris doesn't know is that the first thing Jensen did when they hit land was to pawn all of his life savings and hire a small team to rescue him. That Jared found some other way off that island is just bad luck. Jensen's attempt to rescue him still counts.

"You still left him," Chris says. "I probably wouldn't forgive you either."

~

Life on the sea is...well, it isn't that interesting. Usually Jensen relaxes and reads _Treasure Island_ when there's a lag but it just isn't the same these days. The drinking isn't the same; the camaraderie isn't the same. Modern times have destroyed pirate culture, hence why Jensen wanted to get out of it. Retire somewhere warm and free of extradition treaties. Obviously it didn't work out that way, and his attempts to clean his dirty money didn't work out but it’s still the dream.

Just...not alone.

He tosses the book aside eventually and uses a VPN to connect to the wireless service one of the Pirate Records tech guys set the boat up with. He messes around on _Google_ for while and finally puts his iPad down after the pirate forums give him a headache. It seems like Jared has become a formidable Captain in his own right and if Jensen is being honest, he's kind of worried that this might end up being a deadly return back to the pirate world.

There's a lot of smack talking about Crosshairs on the forums. Jensen's not surprised; for years his ship boasted the most wealth and successful missions. Crosshairs was like, the Kardashians of pirate world. People might not have appreciated them but they were sure as hell talking about them. So seeing all of the hate aimed in his direction only spurs Jensen on.

He loads up Google Maps and makes some pointers about their location. The head of the Crystal Shade company will be absent from the cruise liner but the jewelry will no doubt be protected somehow. He's not sure how many men there will be, but he will figure it out; he always does.

And if he gets stuck halfway through and ends up playing Sudoku, it is no one else's business but his own.

~

"Captain Ackles." There's a knock on his door following his name and he looks up from his laptop to see Jake hovering in the doorway.

"What?" he barks, secretly enjoying the way the boy cowers in fear. "Are you having trouble with your work? The same way you couldn't accept that autotune would make you sound _better_."

Jake frowns, the fear suddenly melting away. "I'm an _artist_ , Ackles. Not a product. And I came up to tell you that we're out of moisturizer."

Jensen stares at him.

Inside, he's definitely lamenting the oversight. Captain Jack Sparrow might have clear, olive skin but in real life, pirates are more likely to have dried out chapped skin. It's why Jensen was insistent that they stock a surplus amount of moisturizer and sunscreen. They might be pirates, but they should still have _standards_.

Despite that, it would be unbecoming of him to allow any of his men to see him so upset over lotions and creams.

"Listen, Abel, you might have been a GQ model out there but here, there's no need for any of that. Being pretty is not a pirate requirement."

Jake turns ashen and he even runs a hand through his short blond hair. After an audible gulp, he says, "Uh, yes, Captain. I'll inform the others."

~

Following that incident, things pick up. There are a few scuffles but no one is thrown overboard. On the fourth night, Jensen calls for a celebration. The cruise liner's exact location has been determined and the ship is currently set sail in that direction.

Chris points out that Cinderella's Other Shoe is also on the horizon but he ignores him. Jensen's always been a man that gets what he wants, and messy unresolved drama with Jared or not, those jewels are his. So, he calls for wine and food to be prepared. When he reaches the dining area, he stops in his tracks when he sees a sparsely covered table. There are a few packets on it and a couple of cans of soda.

"What the fuck is this?" he spits out. He picks up some of the packets and glares at them angrily. "I called for a feast not...granola bars and... _flaxseed_? Who is responsible for this?"

Silent faces stare back at him and Jensen takes a deep breath. Now, he's not the kind of Captain to throw anyone overboard but he's also not exactly rational when he's hungry. That peanut butter and jelly sandwich he had for lunch isn't really cutting it anymore.

"Speak now or I will conduct a thorough investigation," he warns them. "And the culprit will be thrown overboard."

There are a series of angry murmurs and Jensen folds his arms smugly. This is going to be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, Chris picks that moment to tap him on the shoulder and say, 'Technically, you signed a contract that says no one will be thrown aboard, flogged or marooned."

Jensen whips around to stare at his first mate. "Are you telling me that I basically signed away my authority? And since when did pirates _sign_ contracts?" He keeps his voice low, because the last thing he needs is a damn mutiny four days into their sail.

"Since you marooned your former First Mate," Chris tells him. "I thought I'd take the initiative and prevent that this time around."

Jensen rolls his eyes. "Where was that initiative when Pirate Records was haemorrhaging money?"

"Darling, I'm a pirate, not a businessman," Chris drawls. He looks a little green, but that doesn’t explain the fact that he just called Jensen _darling._

Jensen stares at him some more, and waits for an explanation that doesn't come. Chris sways slightly but doesn’t say a word.

"Don't ever call me darling again," Jensen growls eventually.

Chris grimaces. "Trust me. It hurt me more than it hurt you. What the hell do they put in these granola bars? I'm not feeling too good."

Now, as a pirate Jensen's seen it all. Piss. Blood. Vomit. Shit. A combination of all of the above. His past experience doesn't seem to matter when he finds himself tending to a boat full of sick crew members. The holistic therapist, Mike, proves to be useless because he passes out around about the time, the Technical Analyst starts spitting up blood. Somehow, and with the help of Google, Jensen manages to treat them with the supplies on hand. He puts together a chicken broth and hands out steaming bowls, while Jake passes out water bottles.  That Jake is the only other person who's not sick doesn't exactly reinforce Jensen's faith in his crew.

"You know what's funny?" Jake says later when he and Jensen are watching the moonlight ripple against the waves. "I stocked that pantry myself but this is the first time I've seen these granola bars. And, there's this weird logo on the packaging. Some kind of glass shoe. Jensen pauses mid-sip as the realisation hits him.

Jared really is trying to kill him.

~

Many men have faced the same turmoil that Jared Padalecki faces today.

Jared isn't ashamed to say that he's been driven by revenge over the last ten years. He is ashamed that he's just poisoned a boat full of innocent people when really his target was one person. And if the text message he got from his inside man is any indication, Jensen wasn't even one of those poisoned. It's highly likely that Jared isn't good at the whole avenging thing. His attempts to bring down Pirate Records were fruitless, mostly because he was broke. Getting past security was kind of impossible when you dressed like a pirate and wore an eye patch.

Not that Jared uses that as an excuse to relinquish his authenticity. That's where he and Jensen differed. Jared wanted to sail the seas and remain true to character, whereas Jensen wanted to blend in. To live like that others. After doing so, Jared was incensed to hear that Jensen was planning his return. It wasn't enough that he broke Jared's heart and left him to fend for himself without food and water but now he wants to challenge the reputation Jared has spent a decade rebuilding.

He's not going to allow that to happen.

"Hey, Jared, we have another ship in our sights," Chad, his First Mate, says when he pops his head into Jared's quarters. No one bothers him down here but Chad. A necessity born out of his time on Crosshairs. That little shit Brock Kelly was the cabin boy and always too nosy for his own good. He's the reason why Jared was punished so savagely.

"I'm aware," Jared answers. He catches Chad's eye roll but doesn't comment. His crew is small but formidable. Given their size, Jared tends to micromanage things and he knows that irritates Chad. "It's Crosshairs. Apparently Ackles is back in business."

Chad's eyes widen and he steps in fully and closes the door. Jared's quarters are well furnished. He's got a king sized bed made from fine quality wood and has Egyptian cotton sheets and a lovely comforter he picked up from _Sears_. While he doesn't appreciate most modern trivialities, there's something about fresh linen and bedding that pleases him.

"Look, Jared, I know that you have beef with Ackles but this isn't the time to have that fight. The Crystal Shade diamonds are a _huge_ deal. We cannot fuck this up."

Chad seems so serious that Jared can't help feeling chastised.

"Last time I checked, you weren't the one with a PhD in piracy.'

"You quit that after three months, jackass," Chad snaps. "You said that the schedule wasn't to your liking. Need I remind you that you were in California for another reason."

Jared groans because Chad never lets go.

"I was there to seek revenge."

Chad shakes his head. "You were there to seek _dick_. There's a huge difference."

"First Mate Murray, need I remind you that you are my subordinate, not I yours?"

"Blow me," Chad retorts. "I'm going to go and check on our stocks. Apparently I'm the only one paying attention to our job. Katie and Sandy are too busy catching up on Paris Fashion Week."

Well. Perhaps formidable was an overstatement.

~

I _knw that you're trying to kill me_

The first text comes through at three in the morning. They’re sailing slowly, mast up even though the wind has all but evaporated. They are half a day away from the Crystal Shade liner but Jared is sensing that he will have to deal with Ackles first.

_gd_ , he writes, _i'm glad_.

There's no reply, but he smiles smugly all the same. Jared is well aware that Jensen came back for him, but pride made him hide when the search and rescue team arrived on the small island he was trapped on. He spent a week there, snacking on some kind of mystery fruit and tasteless leaves before Chad finally arrived to rescue him.

With that in mind, he's not really trying to kill Jensen. Maybe just injure him a little and get rich  his expense.

Jared's plan is simple now that he knows for sure that Crosshairs is targeting the same ship. Cinderella's Other Shoe (or COS) is smaller, with less manpower. All he needs is for Jensen to make contact first. While Jensen is securing the cruise liner, Jared and his men will sneak on board, grab the jewelry and hopefully make it off before Jensen and the surviving guards realise. He's grinning at the sheer badassery of it all when Chad steps into the room.

"Have you finished coming up with your grand plan?" Chad asks. He approaches the table and takes a seat across from him. "Or are we going to let Ackles screw us over once again."

"Hey, last time I checked, _I_ was the only one thrown off the ship and left on an island by myself," Jared snaps. Chad wasn't exactly an innocent bystander, although his friend did come back for him, which was more than Jensen did bar his initial attempt.

Chad holds his hands up in mock surrender. "Hey, man, I'm just saying. What are you doing down here anyway?"

They're below deck in the makeshift den. It's a small room, with wooden panels on the walls and ground. It's not as fancy as his last ship but Jared thinks the faded damp stains add to its character. There is a small wooden table in the centre with a chess game set up in the middle. Jared sits in front of it and admires the hand carved pieces. He doesn't play very often, at least not with other people. Life is kind of like chess, a series of moves that all lead to one conclusion. A novice will have no idea what the endpoint is, but Jared's a master. He knows each move, is aware what choice any opponent could make.

"I'm perfecting the plan."

With him at the helm, there's no way that this could go wrong.

~

For someone who is supposed to be so smart, Jared doesn't count on the weather to fuck everything up. It's highly likely that he overstated his ability to plan things accordingly. Two of their sails are ripped, the strong winds and rain battering the ship mercilessly. Katie, the carpenter, has a grim look on her face when she approaches Jared three hours into the storm. Her heeled, knee-high boots are glistening with large water drops and he can see where the wood shavings have fallen onto the brown leather.

"How bad is it?" he enquires. "Can we make it to land?"

At this point, Crosshairs is further ahead, it's sails still up and battling furiously with the strong gales and downpour. Jared's been waiting to give the command for COS but he knows that he has to act now, if only so they make it through this voyage in one piece.

"We have to get these sails down, start the motor and head for land now," Katie practically barks. "There's a hole in the bottom of the ship. I've managed to sandbag it for now, but we have two hours max before water starts to leak in." She flicks her wet, blonde hair out of her eyes before regarding him expectantly. Silently, Chad and Sandy join her. The rest of the crew are below deck trying to minimize the damage.

Jared considers her words carefully. It's a tempting idea but the ship is in no condition for the motor to be running now. The wind and waves can easily force them into a shallow and that would be even more dangerous than remaining as they are now.

"We can't turn the motor on yet," he decides eventually. "If the waves get any steeper, we are going to struggle to steer the boat."

The ship lurches just as he's done talking. Choppy waves crash against the side of the ship, the dark blue moving boldly, crashing into a myriad of smaller bursts as the wind thunders on. It’s almost a mirror of his emotions. Panic. Fear. Guilt. He should have seen this coming, should have planned this.

The four of them are sent stumbling and when Jared manages to right himself he sees Chad glaring at him.

"I think we're already past that point," Chad snaps, picking up from where the conversation left off. "And unfortunately for us, it isn't midnight. There's no fairy godmother. Just _mice_."

Sandy shrieks, her large brown eyes widening with fear. "You're kidding, right?" She sweeps up her long brown and white dress (which is a far cry from Katie's more practical outfit) as if the mice are scurrying around in full view.

Jared rolls his eyes and turns away from them. From his calculations, they're two hours away from land. He realises that if they're going to get the Crystal Shade booty, they have no choice but to anchor. It's going to be risky, the wind could blow them onto rocks or the anchor could drag but there's no way the cruise liner is going to risk getting capsized with that much jewelry on board. They will stop, and that means that COS has to stop too.

"Let's reef the sails," he announces. "If we have too much sail up and we get hit by another strong gust, the ship could capsize, and I don't know about you guys, but I intend to get my revenge."

Sandy rolls her eyes. "And revenge is a dish best served cold, wet and potentially in the middle of the damn Caribbean Ocean. Can you just think with your _upstairs_ brain for once?"

"I am!" he insists.

Maybe he shouldn't have said that last part out loud.

"Look, Katie, Sandy - you and the rest of the crew lie ahull below deck. Chad and I will reef the sails and do what we can here."

They leave reluctantly and Jared breathes a sigh of relief. The last thing he needs is increased scrutiny and two sets of judgy eyes focused on him.

~

Jensen's above deck when he notices that Cinderella's Other Shoe is lagging behind. The weather has taken a nasty turn, but luckily he decided to reef early, and they're currently moving towards land. The cruise liner appears to be heading in the same direction so he tells his crew to go below deck and prepare for what could be an intense battle between three ships. Jake remains above deck with him, bound and gagged to the edge of the ship.

"Jake, Jake, Jake," he intones darkly. "Gotta say, you're not very bright." He steps forward and leans down to remove the gag. Jake growls at him and Jensen leaps back, almost losing his footing on a damp spot.

It took a surprisingly lengthy amount of time for Jensen to realise who Jared's inside man was before he remembered that Jake was the only other person who hadn't been poisoned. Given that the two of them left things in a rather acrimonious state, he's not shocked that the little shit is a backstabbing toe rag.

"Fuck you," Jake spits out. "That's what you get for ruining my career. Be lucky that I didn't poison you too."

"Why didn't you?" Jensen asks, because, hey, he's curious.,

Jake coughs hard, emitting a nasty wet sounding noise. Jensen frowns. The last thing he needs is for the kid for a start hacking up any nasty substances.

He takes a cautious step backwards.

"I might be an idiot, but I don't have a death wish," Jake answers in a raspy tone. "Plus, you bought my mom a house. Now we're even."

Jensen slaps the boy upside his head. "We are far from even, you asshole."

He ignores Jakes pained cry and unbounds him, glaring when Jake stands up slowly and practically runs away so fast that Jensen's tricone hat almost falls off his head. His loose cotton overshirt is wet, leaving his chest glistening with raindrops. His tan pants are now a muddy brown, and his feet squelch inside his leather boots. Still he remains above deck, trying his best to keep an eye out for COS.

It’s a nasty storm, according to Aldis, although judging by the weird device he’s been waving around Jensen’s wondering what the purpose of Chris hiring a Technical Analyst was. It’s not like they need someone to wave around an iPad and _confirm_ that they’re in some deep shit. Fucking Stevie Wonder could tell them that.

Still, Jensen has to take control of Crosshairs the way he always did. He remains on deck, watching as the seagulls are thrown around like rags as they battle stormy winds. Their feathers are a cloudy grey in the midst of the heavy downpour as the deep blue water foams beneath them, unyielding and frantic.

Two hours later finds Crosshairs sailing closer to land. Jensen would like to say that everything is fine, but they’re a world away from fine. It’s darker now, the violent storms causing a blanket or darkness as the clouds bloom and knit together. There’s barely any moonlight, just a sliver of glitter in the midst of black. The wind inspires the water to ascend into a surge of fiery waves and everyone is scrambling around in mild panic. Men and slipping on the rain soaked deck, and Jensen silently curses his damn firm grip Gucci loafers. Firm grip, his ass. At least his damn neon orange life jacket is in one piece. They might not be very pirate-like, but whatever. It’s twenty-sixteen. Even pirates have to move with the times.

He can just about make out the approaching rocks and he yells for everyone to grab onto something. Chris stares at him wildly when Jensen makes his way further down across the ship, battling the strong winds as they slam into him, rain hitting the face like an unwelcome brick. He just has to see. He has to make sure that COS is still up. Before he can make it halfway across, a huge drought causes the vessel to careen wildly and Jensen’s forced to grab onto the nearest mast, his hands scaling the rough ropes. His fingers slide down, finding it hard to grab purchase due to the wet conditions but he has no choice. He has to try.

At least not until he sees a blur of blond move past him and he realises that there are fucking _idiots_ on this ship.

He lets go just as bolt of lightning strikes, slipping and colliding untidily with Jake. He grabs onto the boy’s wet collar and growls, “Are you out of your mind? Where are you going?”

“Below deck!” Jake calls over the crashing roar of thunder. “I need to piss.”

Pure unbridled rage runs through Jensen and he practically throttles Jake.

“You can take a fucking piss up here, you asshole,” he spits out. “It’s not like anyone will notice.” He pulls Jake up to his knees and manages to yank them up. He pushes Jake back in the direction he came from.

“Get back over there and help the rest of the crew or I’ll shank you myself.”

Jake rolls his eyes. “ _Please_.”

“There aren’t any cops out here, Jakey,” Jensen threatens menacingly. “No law and order. On this ship, I’m the judge. I’m the jury. I end your life now and that it. There won’t be any retribution. Just your lifeless corpse slowly---”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Jake interjects. “You’re the big scary monster and I’m _Boo_. I’m not scared of you, asshole.”

Jensen stares at him in amazement, raindrops spattered across his face as they stand in the middle of the deck.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“ _Monsters, Inc_ ,” Jake says. “You know, with Sulley and---”

  
“CHRIS!” Jensen practically screams, because he doesn’t need to hear another second of this. “Come and get Abel before I feed him to the storm!”


	2. Captivity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware that the spacing is messed up. That's due to me pasting the chapters in via my phone. Once I'm on a computer I'll sort it out :)

**Two**

Jared wakes up in fits and starts. He remembers the storm raging on, remembers crashing into the rocks. There are voices and he’s sure that one of them belongs to Jensen. It’s pitch black again for a while before there’s another burst of light and he remembers burning on his wrists, sharp visceral pain like a knife cutting into the skin.

The memory forces his eyes all the way open and he realises that he’s in a cold, dark room somewhere. There are plastic binds on his wrists, which explains the pain. There’s a distinct scent which smells like sand and seawater, so he figures that they must be somewhere near sea.

He struggles against the plastic binds in vain for a few minutes, only giving up when the pain becomes too sharp for him to ignore. There's a grunt to his right and Jared's startled to find Jensen tied up and bound. He's still unconscious and Jared has a half mind to leave him like that. A loud shout sounds in the distance and he strains to make out the words but it is inaudible. For a moment, he sits there and takes in the dull brown of the walls and the way the two of them barely fit in the pokey room. He closes his eyes once more and tries to remember what happened during and after the storm.

_The ship hits the rocks and skids across the waterfront and he's thrown backwards. There's pandemonium; people crying, screams. He remembers strong arms around him, dragging him in the shallow waters. There's a familiar scent; a growl that he would know from anywhere..._

Jensen.

"Mmmhh." Jared realises that Jensen's starting to stir and he scoots away, wanting to put some distance between them before he awakes. This isn't exactly how he planned their reunion. No, he always imagined that he would be adorned in a fine suede jacket, with some sort of custom jewelry piece affixed to his person. Jensen would be holed up in a corner, his baggy breeches streaked with dirt and his waistcoat torn, as his canvas jacket lies in a discarded heap somewhere. Jared would use a bejewelled sword to unhook each button slowly until he saw bare chest and then---

A loud metallic clang throws Jared out of his reverie and he blinks rapidly before turning to see that Jensen is very much awake. And he admits to himself that every single version he imagined of capturing Jensen ended up with his damn breeches pooled around his ankles and his dick rubbing against Jensen's lily white ass. He's only human. He might be an occasionally violent pirate but he still has _feelings_.

"How l ong we been here?" Jensen asks, his voice hoarse from lack of use. "What happened?"

"My ship ran aground and crashed right into Crosshairs," Jared grits out. More memories are starting to filter into his mind as he fully wakes up. He can remember Chad slipping on the deck and doing his ankle, face contorted in pain as Sandy and Katie try to help him to the other end of the ship. Jared was busy trying to find out how deep the sea was, just to confirm that they were close to land. He used a piece of led tied to string but he never got an answer.

"The bottom of C.O.S. hit the bottom of the sea," he recalls. "We collided with some of the rocks outcropping shore and water started pouring in. Some idiot started the motor and the fucking keel broke, sent us smashing headfirst into Crosshairs."

Jensen stops struggling long enough to eye Jared. There's understanding in his eyes and for a second it's like the old days. They've been here before, had wrecks before and it was always both of them left at the end of it. Like two lost souls whose destination was each other. Or something less disgustingly cheesy than that.

"You ever hear of the Legend of Fantasy Island?" Jensen asks slowly.

Jared nods, although, it is accompanied by a frown. What does that have to do with the fact that they're currently being held captive by some unknown assailants? It angers him that Jensen's reaction to hearing that both of their ships are wrecked is this flippant dismissal.

"Do you even care that our crews are out there?" Jared spits out. "Abel claimed that you were a hands-off captain. Guess he was right. Hell, it isn't like you don't have form."

Jensen rolls his eyes, but Jared can see the anger storming in the midst of the green.

"You really want to talk about Abel?" Jensen asks through gritted teeth. He shifts a little bit and there's a loud thunk before the bind pops off, leaving him with red raw marks on his now free wrists.

"Yeah, I do," Jared says, because the door of this pokey room is still locked. Jensen's not going anywhere. "He told me everything, Jensen. You barely had control of the crew."

"That's because I signed a damn _contract_ ," Jensen mutters. "Besides, after Pirate Records, it was nice to just be the leader and not deal with the damn help all the time. Managing a boy band is ten times worse than managing a crew."

Somehow Jared finds that hard to believe. Pirates are feared for a reason. They are tough, mean people who don't bow down to anyone. Jensen can't be serious about the unruly preteens that he paid to _not_ sing

"I find that hard to believe," he tells him. "It looked pretty damn easy to me.”

Jared won't lie, he followed Jensen's career closely enough. He read every article on Pirate Records and watched Jensen's interview with Anderson Cooper so many times that it is now the highest viewed clip in his spank bank. All he saw was the man who claimed to care about him sipping champagne and having the time of his life.

Jensen rubs at his wrists with a grimace. "Boybands are exhausting. There's ten parents to deal with, the rabid fangirls, the family members and hanger ons who want to fuck their way into going viral. In both senses of the word. And then, when you finally get the most talented member to breakout, he doesn't want to use autotune. And then I'm stuck explaining why there's a huge deficit in our budget."

“Your boybands sucked!” Jared says, with far more passion that a pirate ought to have in any situation regarding boybands. It’s just that Pirate Records offends him on every level. “The names were all ridiculous. _Empirate_ State. Buoy Life. Love _Anchor_ and my personal favourite - Rhythm  & Flow.”

“What about my girl group Booty?” Jensen asks seriously. He seems chagrined by Jared’s tone but this can’t be the first time he’s heard this.

He scoffs. “Their debut - and _only_ \- song was called ‘Talk Pirate To Me.’ -- they were doomed from the start.”

Jensen huffs petulantly but Jared knows that he’s right. Still that doesn’t stop Jensen from arguing. “The boy bands had better songs. You have to admit that much.”

“Love Anchor’s highest grossing song was a cover of Chris Isaak's _Wicked Game_ ,” Jared snorts. “They completely destroyed that song, by the way.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow in bemusement. “For a guy who tried to poison me not long ago, you are disturbingly well versed in my record company.”

“I just like to do my homework,” Jared spits out. “Especially when the jackass that left me on a deserted island was off having the time of his life.”

“I was creating a life for myself, Jared,” Jensen insists. “It’s just that in the end, it didn’t work out, okay? Just, leave the boy bands out of it. Those snivelling brats cost me my company”

"Uh, no. You forgot the part where the music sucks," Jared snarls. "You went looking for a quick payday and you failed, man. Failed so badly that you ended up here. Guess what they say about karma is true."

Before Jensen can reply, there's a loud knock on the door.

"Why are you knocking?" Jared yells. "You locked us in here. Fucking hell. Our captors have _manners_."

There's a shout from outside. "We heard that y'all were close acquaintances! None of us wants to see another man's dick in someone's ass."

Jared rolls his eyes _hard_.

"In that case, come back in twenty minutes!" To Jared's surprise, footsteps retreat and he's left staring at Jensen's equally bemused expression.

"Looks like we've got twenty minutes to fuck," Jensen says, evidently getting over the bizarre exchange quicker than Jared does. "Or do you want to argue some more?"

Jared narrows his eyes and utters, "Untie me."

~

There's an awkward pause after Jensen removes the plastic binds from Jared's wrists. He wasn't being serious about them having sex, but he recognizes the look in Jared's eye. Maybe they should make the best out of what could prove to be a very messy situation. There's also the fact that the last time he saw Jared, he was screaming for him not to leave him stranded on that island. Jensen's not sure if they will ever get past that and he knows that the blame lies entirely at his door.  

Weĺl. _Mostly._

Jared turns away momentarily, frowning as he seems to remember something.

"You saved me," he says, finally breaking the thick silence. "Pulled me out of the wreckage."

Jensen remembers. When Crosshairs crashed, most of the crew were able to climb down the side of the ship and hit land. They were bruised, wet and sorely dejected but they were alive. They could feel the soggy sand under their feet and see the dark clouds starting to fade. When Jared's ship finally emerged through the smog, Jensen was on high alert. He pulled Jared out and instructed his crew to do what they could.

By sheer luck, no one drowned.

However, their weakened state left them open to attack and capture and here they are now. Jensen's not stupid. If the captors know that he and Jared were an item, they’re going to use that to their advantage. The idiot that knocked on the door has probably gone to tattle on them, giving his boss the perfect opportunity to catch them at a weak moment.

Still, it doesn’t mean that Jensen won’t welcome the chance to get his rocks off. The last bit of action he had was when Bradley Cooper winked at him at the AMAs, and it’s possible that B-Coops merely had dirt in his eye, but Jensen tends to take whatever he can get.

Jared steps closer and fists his hands in Jensen's stiff overshirt. For a second he just stares before he tugs, smiling sharply when the button clatter to the ground. Jensen swallows hard and grits out, “Really, you want to spend the rest of time with an open shirt? Haven’t you heard of sunburn?”

“You’re kidding, right?” Jared asks him. “Do you want to get laid or not?”

"Make it fast," Jensen grits out. "They'll be listening." He turns around and waits expectantly for Jared to tug down his pants. Luckily for him, he's been fucked raw before; it’s not like there was ever a drone service providing top-up lube to lost pirates at sea; sometimes they just had to make do.

Damn if he wouldn't kill for some moisturizer right now, but all of his pocket sachets of Vaseline were long gone even before the shipwreck. The lack of moisturiser on board meant that he used it to soften the calluses on his fingers.

Rough hands just screams _apathy_ and Jensen’s never been that kind of guy.

"You're kidding, right?" Jared says again as he steps back.

"You told them twenty minutes, asshole," Jensen says. "What you thought they were just going to relax? They could be watching right now.."

He points at the window and Jared rolls his eyes and closes the distance between them.

They fall into an easy rhythm, foregoing kissing and intimacy in favour of pulling down their breeches quickly. Jensen's dick hangs limply, but Jared's....well. Let's just say that he doesn’t need any help in that area. Jensen's eyebrows go skyward and Jared blushes.

"What?" he says petulantly. "I'm a red blooded male. I don't need any blue pills."

Jensen rolls his eyes and turns around slowly before breaking into a loud series of moans, "Oh, Jared, you're so big and hard!" It's a little more eighties porn than he was going for, but whatever. Last time he checked there was no gay pirate sex talk rulebook.

"Dude, I'm not fucking you if you keep up with that," Jared smarts, because he always has to be difficult.

"Fine, I'll just get myself off and then we can get this show on the road," Jensen snaps. "I forgot that you were nothing but a sniveling pussy. All of that bullshit about taking what was ours and starting our own ship. You made me leave you on that island and--

Jensen cuts himself off when Jared's hands grab his hips and push him forward until he comes into contact with a cold wall. There's a rustling behind him and the faint sound of Jared sucking on his fingers. As much as Jensen would love to be opened up properly, they don't have time for that. Twenty minutes will be more like ten. Or five.

"Just fuck me, Jared," he grits out. "Let it all out.'

Jared shoves in fast and hard, pausing momentarily. The burn stings, but Jensen bites his lip. He deserves the pain, deserves it for leaving Jared on his own. Jared pulls out and back in, slowly increasing his speed until he's pounding into Jensen so hard that the walls shake. Jensen pretends that the feeling of Jared's bare cock doesn't make him tingle but it does. This situation should be degrading but all he wants is for Jared to fuck him harder and deeper.

"Make your damn sex noises," Jared hisses and Jensen stops biting down on his groans and lets them out. Filthy words fall from his lips, punctuated by the slap of Jared's balls against his ass and he keeps going until he feels that telltale warm tingle. He fists his cock and jerks it, rough and hard until he splatters come all over the wall, shuddering as his release leaves him. Jared follows shortly after, the warm sensation filling Jensen's ass and trickling down onto his legs.

There's a loud bang on the door and the voice calls out. "Time's up, ladies!"

It swings open before Jared even has time to pull his dick out and Jensen smiles at the predictability of it all.

And then he turns to see who their captor is and freezes.

~

Mark Sheppard is a former pirate turned...well, Jensen doesn’t know what he is. It’s not like there’s a pirate _phone book_. All Jensen knows is what he’s heard; that Mark targets his past enemies and uses them to carry out dangerous robberies. The more he thinks about how the Crystal Shade diamonds were supposedly very hard to get to, the more he realises that he’s been hoodwinked.

“There was nothing on that ship was there?” he asks. He and Jared have managed to tuck themselves back in, although, Jared’s cheeks are still pink from exertion and his shirt is more of a mess than it was before. Sunlight pours in through the lone window, and Jensen longs to be outside and get some fresh air on his skin.

He could also do with some water. His throat is drier than the damn _Twilight_ series.

“What the hell do you want?” Jared spits out before Sheppard can answer. “You don’t have any beef with us.”

Sheppard turns to Jensen and smirks cruelly. “Oh, dear. Do you want to tell him, or shall I?”

Jared’s head spins around to face Jensen so fast that he’s caught unaware, torn between just laying out the truth and making up some bullshit.

He quickly decides to go with the truth because he's in no position to make up _believable_ bullshit.

“Fine. There may or may not be a compromising tape of me out there,” Jensen admits. “And Mark here was very helpful when it came to helping me switch out the tapes after _Vivid_ got in touch with me. And I might have offered to pay him and then reneged on the deal.”

Jared frowns, obvious confusion painted all over his face. “How did you two even manage to cross paths?”

“Pirate convention.” Both Jensen and Sheppard speak in unison.

Jared shakes his head bitterly and Jensen finds himself desperately trying to explain.

“Look, they pay us fifty grand to dress up as pirates and make Arr! jokes. It's easy money and we get to enrich the lives of a bunch of pirate obsessed losers.” That might be harsh but whatever, Jensen’s got his bad boy reputation to maintain. Plus, he seriously hates those conventions.

“He means _lovers_ ,” Sheppard chimes in unhelpfully. Jensen doesn't correct him though because he doesn't think it would help him get into Jared’s good books.

“Anyway.” Sheppard smirks at both of them and changes the subject. "Now that I have your talents at my disposal, I have a task for you both. I have a prior engagement to meet but I just wanted to pop in and have a word. Give you something to stew over. Try not to pull any muscles while I'm gone, hmm?"

Once Sheppard has left the small room, Jensen turns and kicks at the wall. He hides the sharp pain that follows by thinning his lips and facing Jared. He's sure he knows what this is. It figures that his deal with Sheppard would come back to bite him on the ass. Hell, what happened to shit staying in Vegas? His boozy night with whatever that socialite's name was has migrated so far that it has its own _visa_.

"You know what this is, right?" he says. "The damn Spice Girls legend."

Jared frowns. "The what now?"

Granted, Jensen is only aware of this legend from his time on the pirate forums, but still, he would think that Jared of all people would be aware.

"Two become one," Jensen throws his hands up, "Two rival ships are lured to an island and forced to locate treasure. They're told that their crews will live if they do so. What they don't know is that only one pirate will make it out alive. Failure to find the treasure means they duel to the death. And they _always_ fail."

Jared blinks at him and Jensen can tell that he's mentally processing everything and trying to connect the dots.

He's not expecting Jared to say, "Is it actually called the Spice Girls legend or this a weird music thing?" in the same mocking tone he used to dismiss Jensen's boybands.

Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose. "Surely you've heard _2 Become 1._ It's a classic. And it would have been Booty's second single had they not crashed and burned so epically."

"Who _are_ you?" Jared snaps. "We are literally in the middle of some deep shit. And not only that, you're indebted to our captor!"

"Only because I spent most of my money looking for you, dammit," Jensen retorts. "Once Pirate Records was up and running, I had nothing left. I was desperate enough to keep the company afloat. My investors wouldn't have stuck around too long after seeing me screwing some bimbo all over the web."

Jared swallows and a dark look flashes across his eyes. _Jealousy_. It's not like either of them have been celibate -- once again, the forums are confirmation of that, but still, the thought of anyone's hands on Jared makes him a little cagey as well.

"Let me guess, you met her at some music event." Jared looks deeply unimpressed and Jensen's aware that this is the expression he will be seeing a lot of.

"Uh, not quite. I met her at a Boat's n Hoes party," Jensen admits. "It wasn't my finest moment."

"Yeah, well, I've had plenty of action too," Jared boasts, even puffing his chest out a little. "I did the whole Britney Spears Vegas Experience."

"You went to see Britney in Vegas?"

Jared clears his throat and looks down. "No, I got married to a flight attendant and came to my senses quickly enough to get it annulled."

Oh.

"You know what, how about we just quit with the chit chat for now?" Jensen retorts, ignoring the way jealousy is burning hot in his stomach. They're still stuck in this pokey room, and there's not really anywhere to turn, so he's stuck leaning against the wall, eyes firmly on the damp, earthy floor.

There's a long silence, so still and quiet that Jensen almost thinks he can hear the roar of the waves.  Suddenly he aches for it, wants to be back on his ship living a life that seems simpler than his current predicament.

"I upset you."

It's not a question, just a simple statement and Jared doesn't sound too apologetic either. The thing is that while Jensen's never gotten over the whole _kinda left my kinda boyfriend on a deserted island_ situation, he internalized it in order to move on. The guilt has been festering since and he's fast reaching the point where he can't let it tamper with his ability to get himself out of this mess with Sheppard.

~

Jared doesn't mean to sound like a whiny brat upset about his first crush ignoring him in the hallway, but he can tell that he does. Each word seems to fall out of his mouth, like a raindrops crashing onto asphalt. It is easy to blame Jensen for all that happened, but he was the one who hid when the first rescue team came for him and he was the one who technically started that entire maroon situation in the first place. Maybe he can cut Jensen some slack.

"I didn't mean to upset you," he adds, knowing fully well that Jensen will probably call his bluff.

"Like hell you didn't," Jensen snaps, like he has some right to be angry. "I'm always going to be the Captain that turned on his first mate to you. Always going to be..." He trails off, shaking his head bitterly as he presses his lips together.

"Where do you think our crews are now?" Jared asks, deciding to change the subject. Rehashing the ruins of their relationship can wait for another time. "Do you think Sheppard killed them?"

He bites at his lip nervously when Jensen doesn't answer right away. His crew is on the small side, just Katie, Sandy, Chad and a few others who he admittedly hasn't gotten to know very well. There was a slight overhaul of crew personnel when he made the decision to go after the Crystal Shade diamonds. Now he knows why; clearly they knew about this...Spice Girls legend, or scam, because that's what this is.

"I'm not sure," Jensen answers eventually. "After the storm, everyone was a little worse for wear. My technical analyst is probably cowering in a corner somewhere."

Jared frowns. "You have a technical analyst? You realize that this isn't Ocean's Eleven, right? Whatever happened to not complicating things while on water. I mean, you always said to---"

"Limit the amount of variables that could potentially need to be manually controlled later down the line," Jensen finishes. "I think that's what Aldis was supposed to be doing. He's just...squeamish. I think I spent more time playing nurse than I did commanding the ship."

Jared winces. The poison debacle wasn't exactly his finest move. "Yeah, sorry about that. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Jensen just shrugs and Jared gives up on making conversation soon after that.

~

It's dark outside when the door opens and food comes in the form of Chad and...Chris Kane, who's never been one of Jared's favourite people. Chris takes one look at Jensen's sleeping form and rolls his eyes. He tosses a bundle towards Jared while Chad sets the tray down.

"We can't stay for long," Chad informs him when Jared stands and pulls his First mate into a brief hug. "How are you holding up?" Chris moves back toward the door as if to give them some privacy and Jared shrugs.

"It's fine. The guy who took us wants us to help him find some lost treasure on the island."

Chad rolls his eyes. "How cliché. The rest of the crew is good. I mean, a couple of them were a little run down after the storm, but right now everyone is just concerned about how you're doing."

Jared shakes his head at the ridiculousness of the situation. "Where are they keeping you?"

"There's a small camp area not too far from here," Chad tells him with a grimace. "We get food, water and the delightful sound of some British guy playing a banjo all fucking night long. It's just peachy."

"We've got to go," Chris says from his position by the door. "Tell Jensen that I was kind enough to bring him some Astroglide. He sure as hell isn't going to get us out of this mess with a sore ass."

Chad wrinkles his nose. "Ew, man, TMI. But yeah, he has a point."

Jared folds his arms across his chest tightly. "And what makes you think that Jensen and me have been doing sexual... stuff." He winces at the awkwardness of his own words. He's never had a good poker face.

"The scattered buttons were a dead giveaway," Chris says. "Plus, I actually know you guys. And also, Sheppard and his cronies were laughing about it."

He doesn't look too impressed himself but Jared can't find it in him to give a shit.

"Can you guys lower your voices," Jensen grumbles suddenly, startling Jared. "Some of us are trying to nap."

Jared can tell from his voice that Jensen's probably been awake for a while, but he doesn't say anything.

"Nice to see you too, Captain," Chris remarks, although he smiles slightly. "Anyway, we will see you two later. Try to keep the sex noises to a minimum!"

Chad aims a short wave in his direction and they leave, the door slamming shut with a resounding thud. A key turns in the lock afterwards and Jared realises that someone must have been waiting outside.

With a small sigh, he picks up the bundle that Chris threw in. After unraveling it, he sees that it's a couple of blankets. He tosses one at Jensen and ignores the man's chagrined grunt. The food tray is far less appealing than the slightly threadbare blankets. A couple of limp sandwiches and a lone canister of water. Still, given the way his stomach has been growling for the past few hours, they're better than nothing.

He grabs one and digs into it, watching fervently as Jensen rolls over slowly. Green eyes narrow suspiciously, but eventually, Jensen's pale hand reaches out to grab a sandwich.

"At least it isn't granola bars," he mutters. Jared knows he deserves that but he's getting tired of the back and forth. Luckily for him, Jensen changes the subject right away: "God, I need some air."

Jared hums in agreement as he polishes off the rest of the limp turkey sandwich. He grabs the water and takes a large swig, an idea springing to mind as the cool liquid trickles down his throat. Surely Sheppard can't begrudge them a toilet break, right?

Five minutes later finds them standing by the wall of the small cabin they've been enclosed in. Jensen's head rests along the wall as he breathes in deeply. He looks so serene and stress free that Jared wishes they could have longer than five minutes.

"Thanks," Jensen says when they're back inside and the lock clicks, echoing in the silence and confining them to more hours of nothingness. "We should work on a plan. Grab a blanket."

Jensen grabs a dark blue blanket and folds it around himself before he sits down on the ground and leans against the wall.

"Chris has compiled a bunch of notes for us," Jensen says, while holding up a small pocketbook that Jared didn't see before. "If we can figure out where we are exactly, we can plan our escape."

Jared frowns. "What about the diamonds?" That is why they're all here after all.

"What about them?" Jensen asks. "They're a poisoned chalice at this point. We either find them and one of us dies, or we take on Sheppard, find them and then waste time finding a distributor to sell them to. Or, we get the fuck out of here and get on with our lives."

"We're pirates, Jensen, finding treasure is always the plan we go with," Jared points out. He's not trying to start another argument but it sounds like Jensen is trying to run away from who he is, who they are. That just doesn't fly with him.

Jensen flips open the pocketbook and shrugs. "Maybe I'm done being a pirate. Maybe everything has a limit. We spent years raking in cash and jewellery and blowing it on ass and booze when we should have been planning for the future."

"Spending the booty on _booty_ is just tradition," Jared argues. "And no, I can't believe that I just said that." The poor choice of words gets him a wry smile from Jensen and it's scary how much better it makes Jared feel.

"Let's just work on getting off this island. If the diamonds are found, we can figure out what to do with them later. God knows I could use some help with my IRS issues." Jensen shakes his head ruefully as he finishes speaking.

Jared snorts. "Let me guess, you spent most of the Pirate Records money on booze, ass and jewellery?"

  
Jensen looks up and at stares at him for moment before he concedes the point. "Fine, maybe I'm _not_ done being a pirate."


	3. The Quest

**Three**

By the time Sheppard frees them from their confinement, Jensen's got a pocketbook full of ideas and also a chest full of rage that he's been pushing down since he woke up. Jared's thinly veiled judgements and accusations have come fast and thick. Jensen's not sure how he managed to forget just how self-righteous Jared can be. Once they leave the room, Sheppard escorts them to a huge white house that’s situated at the top of a platform several miles from shore. Jensen’s skin starts to itch at the thought of actually scrubbing his skin and feeling the relaxing warmth of hot water cascading down his--

“Am I boring you?” Sheppard’s annoying British timbre cuts into his reverie and Jensen glares at the man. He should have known that his standoff with Mark would be epically terrible when it came. His luck around Sheppard has always been horrendous.

“Just cut to the chase would you?” Jensen snaps. “No long, drawn out bad guy monologues. Just tell us why you’re moving us and what we need to do next.”

Sheppard gestures for his guards to halt in their tracks and frowns in Jensen’s direction. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“The fun is that the less yapping you do, the quicker you’ll get your diamonds,” Jared chimes in, looking equally annoyed as Jensen feels. “Plus you’ve already made your villainous intentions clear. We don’t need a repeat.”

Sheppard just stares at them in silence for a few minutes before he seems to concede the point. “Well then. Fine. You have a day to clean up, pick three crew members each and set out on your journey. I will give each of you a satellite phone. The first person to contact me lives. Comprende?”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “And what if there’s no treasure, what then, genius?”

“You both die.” Sheppard grins after he’s spoken and turns to go back down the winding pathway they took to the house. 

“Not if we kill him first,” Jared says when Sheppard is out of earshot. “That’s the plan, right?”

In truth, Jensen doesn’t have a concrete plan. Not that Jared needs to know that. 

“Sure...that’s the plan.” 

His tone is unconvincing even to his own ears, so it doesn’t take long for Jared to pounce on him once they’re past the threshold. The hallway of the house is simple. White painted walls and drab furniture. It smells musty, like it’s been awhile since anyone has been inside. It’s a far cry from his mansion, but so long as there’s a running supply of water, Jensen’s not going to complain. 

“You  _ do  _ have a plan, right?” Jared asks anxiously. “You’re always going on about how you’re a master tactician so, I expect a good plan. Like, the  _ mother  _ of all plans.”

“I have bits of a plan,” Jensen admits, unable to meet Jared’s eyes. “I just need some time to put it all together.”

Jared damn near chokes on his tongue, such is his hurry to splutter. “We don’t have time, asshole. What the hell were you scribbling for hours?”

Jensen grimaces. “Song lyrics.”

His back hits one of the walls with a resounding thud before he can even process what’s happening. There’s a menacing look in Jared’s eyes and Jensen swallows audibly. Maybe he ought to have kept the lyric writing thing to himself. 

“You mean to tell me that instead of coming up with an escape plan, you were writing  _ songs _ ?” Jared spits out, his hot breath fanning over Jensen’s face. “I ought to wring your neck right now.”

Jensen opens his mouth to apologise but Jared steps back and silences him with a raised hand. 

“Seeing as how you’ve been useless at planning our escape, I’m taking over,” he says. “First, we rest up and try and regain our energy. And then we decide who we’re picking from our crews. I already know which three members I want, but I’m sensing that you might need to thinking about it and I dunno - procrastinate through  _ song _ .”

“Jared--” Jensen tries again to apologize for his inadequacy but Jared just shakes his head. 

“Save it. Now, I’m going to go and look around. I’ll get back to you with the rest of the plan.” He turns and heads up the narrow staircase, not even turning back when there’s an ear-splitting crack when he takes the sixth step. 

~

Once he’s showered and devoured half of the can of beans that Jared found in the kitchen, Jensen finds that his mind is a lot clearer. Jared’s still not speaking to him but he uses the time to think about everything and also decide what three members to bring  _ without  _ needing to write a song about it. Although, he catches himself strumming an imaginary guitar a couple of times. The thing is that, he’s always been passionate about music. Whether it was a catchy pop tune on a radio or an old Jazz tune in one of those smoky bars his old crew used to frequent. Of course, when one is Captain on a formidable ship, no one is really interested in his hobbies. He’s just expected to lead everyone and make sure that they get paid. Kind of like how he was expected to do the same at Pirate Records, except maybe that wasn’t what he should have done. He should have paid someone else to do it for him because he was sort of bad at it.

There’s a creaking noise as Jared joins him at the rickety wooden table they found in the main room of the small house. Jensen’s got a scrap of paper in front of him that’s completely free of song lyrics. Well apart from the bottom corner which reads: ‘ _ It takes two to make a thing go right/It takes two to make it outta sight/It takes two to make a thing go right/It takes two to make it outta sight _ ’ but that song is a  _ classic.  _ No one can begrudge him for using it for inspiration. 

“So, I think we ought to keep this simple,” Jared says without any preamble. “First, we think about the likelihood of there actually being treasure. We then determine where it’s most likely to be. Lastly, we figure out what to do about Sheppard. Got any ideas?”

Jensen clears his throat and glances at his paper. “Uh, well. He’s allergic to shellfish and good fashion taste, he’s partial to blondes and he loves money.”

“Congratulations, you win the Knowing Facts About Your Kidnapper award,” Jared snarks, rolling his eyes as he runs a hand through his hair. “Although…”

“What?” Jensen says eagerly, like he’s a kid in class desperately eager to impress the teacher. 

“My carpenter is blonde…” Jared says. “Not that she'll go along with charming Sheppard for the sake of our freedom.”

Jensen shrugs. “She will if she wants to live. Besides we need her to distract him long enough for him to miss the part where we convince his crew to turn on him.”

It might sound like a stretch, but if there's one thing that Jensen knows about pirates, it's that they're the most disloyal loyal people ever. A pirate will thump his hand on his chest and talk about brotherhood one minute and then use that hand to stab said brother in the next minute. They're terrible people. 

“I suppose you're right,” Jared says when Jensen puts his theory to him. “Now, the treasure? I was thinking that it has to be further on the mainland. Less chances of it washing away when the shore recedes.”

Jensen nods. That seems like a decent plan. However, he knows Sheppard. There's no way that he will let them search without prying eyes. And now that he thinks about it, his guess is that at least one of their crews members will be a rogue agent. If they can manipulate the situation somehow, it'll be even better for them.

“Before we do anything else, we should probably talk about what we tell our crews. The less they know, the better.”

Jared nods in agreement. “Yes. And there's probably going to be at least one person that tries to play both of us.”

Jensen doesn't need to guess who that is. He finds it ironic that once again, they have been lumped with a conniving cabin boy who's reaching far above his station.

“I think Abel has already done that,” Jensen mutters angrily. “We can use him. Or well, you can.”

“So, basically we have to pretend that we are still on bad terms?” Jared asks. 

Jensen blinks at him owlishly. “ _ This _ is good terms to you?”

He can't help but sound petulant. Call him a hopeful romantic, but he'd imagined their reunion going a lot differently. 

“Hey, I'm not trying to kill you anymore,” Jared points out. “That's  _ progress _ !”

Jensen concedes the point with a subtle shake of his head. 

~

They talk for another twenty minutes or so before another argument brews. Jensen's not even sure what this one is about. It's a variation of the same issue. Betrayal. Abandonment. Seriously, at this point, he's considering tattooing the word sorry onto his forehead. Maybe that'll get Jared to forgive and forget once and for all.   
  
Before he knows what's happening, they're standing and yelling at each other. Jensen's halfway through telling Jared how pig headed he is when the other man yanks him forward and seals their mouths together. Their mouths move against each other for a while until Jensen realises that actually, they're not together. This is just the tension between them finally spilling. Call him a romantic but, cheap thrills and angry sex aren't really his cup of tea.    
  
"You're just trying to shut me up," Jensen growls  in between kisses.    
  
Jared pulls back with an eye roll. "Clearly I'm not doing a great job."   
  
"No need to sell yourself short, Jared," Jensen retorts, smirking at Jared's petulant expression. "You used to be very good at shutting me up."    
  
Okay, well, maybe Jensen's not entirely averse to the idea of angry sex. Somehow they manoeuvre themselves so that Jared pressed back against the slightly crumbling wallpaper, which showers the with paint flakes as Jared writhes against the wall. Jensen's hands are already in his breaches, slightly dry hand tuning up and down the hard length.    
  
Jensen breaks their latest kiss, shoving Jared back when he tries to chase. He pulls his own breeches down fast and rough, not bothering to push them down all the way, just enough to free his cock. Chris was at least helpful enough to slip them supplies, which Jared helpfully has stashed in his shirt pocket. Jensen doesn't stop to question it, he just grabs the condom and slides it on before coating it with a liberal amount of lube. He slicks his fingers next, flips Jared around so that he's facing the wall. 

He opens Jared up quickly, scissoring his fingers wide and hard; he revels in the noises that come from Jared, enjoys the way the guttural moan seems to vibrate through him. Eventually, he lines himself up against Jared's opening slightly and slides in hard with one swift movement. Jared clenches around him and he slides out roughly and pushes back in hard. Jared pushes back, hissing as Jensen ends up going even deeper. He pulls out slowly, enjoying the deep burn of the friction. 

Soon, the pace quickens and the sound of their laboured breathing is punctuated by the sound of his balls hitting Jared’s ass fills the room. Jared comes first, marking the wall with wet strings of white. Jensen pumps his hips hard, slowly losing his rhythm as he feels his climax building and shortly after, his release fills the condom. He keeps shoving in lazily, only stopping when Jared hisses and elbows him gently. He turns when Jensen finally pulls out and leans in to kiss him sweetly, his tongue exploring and tangling with Jensen's like it used to during those hazy days in Jensen’s quarters. They would lie on his bed and make promises they couldn't keep, all sealed with too many kisses to count.    
  
The kind of thing that would seriously have damaged both of their pirate creds had they done it in public. 

~

“You know I'm not surprised that you ended up in showbiz,” Jared tells Jensen hours later. It's evening time by his guess and the house is chilly. They're camped out in the one room that has decent furniture. There's not much by the way of food but the working tap means that they at least have water. 

“What makes you say that?” Jensen asks from his spot on the haphazardly set up indoor hammock. Maybe decent furniture was a bit of a stretch given that Jared’s perched on a mattress that he hopes is clean. 

“Rusty Joe, back in ‘04. We were sailing in Barbados and he was scrubbing the deck and you said,  _ ‘Joe, man, if you're gonna go around showing your butt crack, at least make sure it's moisturised.’ --  _ you had high maintenance written all over you.”

Jensen huffs petulantly but Jared knows that he’s right. “That was one funky butt crack, you have to admit that. It had more twists and turns than a pretzel. I was merely being a good Captain and trying to save him from some kind of future skin disease.”

Jared laughs. “Of course you were.” There's a creaking sound followed by the thunderous thud of the wind. It reminds Jared of the storm and he remembers that he's only here because Jensen saved him. 

“You know, I used to think that there was no shame in quitting while you were ahead but maybe I was wrong,” Jensen muses. “I'm a joke in the record industry and once this gets out I'm going to be an even bigger laughing stock.” 

Jared is about to answer when there's a knock on the door. After some grumbling on Jensen's part, they both make their way downstairs and open it to find Sheppard standing in the doorway, ever present smirk painted on his face.

“I have to say, it's all been very quiet over here,” he says. “Are you boys doing okay?”

Jensen growls. “How about you let us go and you do your own dirty work? We all know that there are no diamonds here. This is just a game to you. A way to make up for the fact that you were an incompetent pirate.”

Technically, this is part of their plan but Jensen is so convincing that even he is stumped. Sheppard goes red in the face but he doesn't react. Instead he whispers something to his lackey and vanishes. 

“I'm Stan,” the lackey says. “I need the six names of crew members that you're bringing along.”

He leaves soon after they give him the names and once again, they're left to their own devices. 

“So, what does one do on the night before the adventure that could possibly lead to their death?” Jared asks with a wry smile once they're back upstairs. They've been in worse situations before but this is different. Jensen is rusty and not the formidable Captain that he once was and Jared’s spent the past few years so consumed with rage that he doesn't know what to do now that it's evaporating slowly. 

“They catch up with their best friend and try to put the past behind them?” Jensen suggests hopefully. “Or they have ‘ _ We Might Die Sex _ ’.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “In your dreams, Captain.”

“You have no idea,” Jensen replies with a lewd wink.

“I know that you came back for me,” Jared confesses abruptly. “I saw the team and I just...I was so angry. I would rather have remained on that island. I mean, all of that over a stupid ring.”

Jensen eyes him carefully before he says, “I know. Chad and I bumped into each other not long after. He seemed to think it was appropriate to gloat. And then he tried to hit on all three members of the girl group that were auditioning for my failed reality show. It was a blessing in disguise really, because I started the record company shortly after that.”

“You didn't ask where I was or  _ why _ ?” Jared asks. “I mean, I get that you tried but it just seemed like you gave up easily.”

Jared watches Jensen as he speaks, sees the way his eyes shutter at the question. He can tell that Jensen flippant response and anecdote about Chad is just a facade. There's still a lot of unresolved drama here and Jared is tired of it being this dark cloud hanging over him.

Jensen sighs despondently. “Does it matter? We can talk about this later. Personally, I'm ready to catch some Zs.”

Jared nods in agreement. “Good idea. Uh, do you want to share the mattress or...I think there's a blanket somewhere.” 

There's some shuffling around as Jensen joins him reluctantly after fishing the blanket from a dark drawer. There's some uncomfortable movements from both of them as they manoeuvre around on the mattress and Jared starts to regret his offer. Talking to Jensen is one thing but sharing his space is another. He can practically feel the tension doing jumping jacks between them. They find themselves facing each other and Jared swallows audibly because on one hand, he might finally get the answer that he wants and on the other, he feels exposed. Like every day emotion and thought has been laid bare for Jensen to see and hear.

“You know, we probably wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't taken that ring in full view of Brock,” Jared admits. 

Jensen blinks slowly. “Does it matter anymore? I mean, if I hadn't run away from the IRS, we probably wouldn't be in this mess. We can go through this all night.”

Apparently Jensen isn't in a reminiscent mood. 

“I guess you're right,” Jared says. “Fine. Let's talk about something else. What was the weirdest thing you ever saw in the record industry?”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Everything. I mean, these people spend thousands of dollars on random shit. Maybe I should have been a fashion designer?”

Jared cocks his head to one side. “On second thoughts, maybe we should just get some rest.”

~

Sunrise arrives with the sound of the birds singing and Jensen bitching about said birds as he untangles himself from Jared. Given that Jensen's the music expert, the birdsong should be appreciated but the death glare Jared receives when he makes that point is enough to make him drop it immediately.    
  
After making themselves presentable, they go downstairs and find Chad, Katie, Sandy and Chris waiting, along with Jake Abel and another guy that Jared’s never seen before.     
  
"Has anyone ever told you that you guys bicker like an old couple?" Katie says in lieu of a greeting, her eyebrow raised in a deeply unimpressed manner. "And not in a cute, adorable sitcom way but in a ' _ shut up and hurry up with freeing us from this fucking island’ _ way."   
  
Jensen's eyes widen in shock and he opens his mouth to respond but thankfully Chad is able to cut in first.     
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Chad exclaims as he darts forward, placing an arm around Katie's shoulders. "What Katie means is that, you guys have a plan, right? Cause there's only so much of that Sheppard guy that we can take. That dude can talk. About anything. For hours."   
  
Sandy nods in agreement. "It's really annoying. I think he's ruined English accents for me forever."   
  
"Oh well, I'm glad to see that you're focusing on the hard stuff," Jensen remarks with an eye roll.    
  
Sandy narrows her eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be this amazing pirate who never gets caught?"    
  
Jared grimaces. His crew aren't Jensen’s biggest fan, which means that this whole finding treasure thing  is going to be a bumpy adventure.    
"Oh yeah, because I can control the  _ weather _ ." Jensen rolls his eyes again before he ambles out of the room and into the kitchen to get a glass of water.   
  
Jared turns to glare at Sandy. "Can you ease up on the sarcasm, please? We need his help to get out of of this alive."   
  
Jake clears his throat and steps forward, "Need I remind you that you offered me six hundred bucks to try and poison him? Now you're defending him?"   
  
"In Jared’s defense, that guy is one hell of a looker." Katie winks at him and Jared groans inwardly.    
  
Jake frowns and says, "Being pretty is not a pirate requirement."    
  
Everyone turns to stare at him.    
  
"Zip it, Abel," Chris barks eventually. "Now, when grumpy guts comes back, you two geniuses can fill us in on your plan. You do have a plan, right?"   
  
Jared eyes Chris curiously. They've known each other for a long time, both served under Jensen on Crosshairs but he wouldn't say they were friends. In fact,  he seems to recall Chris repeatedly calling him a reckless liability.    
  
"Chris," Jared greets him with a subtle nod. "It's nice to see you in slightly better circumstances."    
  
"I bet it is," Chris says indifferently. "This time we're  _ all _ trapped on a random island."   
  
Chad shakes his head wearily even before Jared can process the comment.   
  
"Knock it off," Jensen snaps as he returns, glass of water clutched firmly in hand. "We need you guys to be on point from this moment on. Especially if you want to survive. Now, did Sheppard provide a map?"   
  
It's a little bit funny how serious the group's demeanour becomes at Jensen's stern tone. And kind of hot, but whatever, Jared's only human. There's a rustling sound and Jake produces a weathered sheet of paper. Jared shares a long look with Jensen but they remain silent.    
  
"I'll take that," Jensen says when he snatches the map. He faces the rest of the group. "You guys, freshen up and take whatever you want from this shithole. Jared and I need to have a chat with Abel."   
  
Jared frowns, and barely manages to keep the look of surprise on his face. This isn't part of their plan but Jensen seems to be the leader here and Jared instinctively falls back. Abel shifts uncomfortably under Jensen's withering glare and Jared almost feels sorry for the kid. After all, it isn't his fault that he got caught up in the middle of their messy history. 

Abel finally snaps after a few minutes. “What are you going to growl at me about auto tune again?”

“Hey, if you'd let us work our magic, none of us would be here right now,” Jensen claims. “You and I would be sipping sangria poolside. And Jared would probably be releasing his inner Mrs Havisham, but two out of three isn't bad.”

Jared steps forward and slaps the back of Jensen's head. He smiles bitterly when Jensen yelps and starts rubbing the sore spot furiously. 

“Can we stuck to the matter at hand please?” Jared says. “Jake we need to know that we can trust you.”

Abel shrugs. “Whatever.”

Jared stared at him. He's familiar with the current lingo but whatever is a phrase that has always escaped him. Is the person saying “Sure, whatever works!” or are they expressing indifference? He would really like to know the answer. 

“It's not too late for me to get my lawyer to get rid of that house you bought for your mom,” Jensen threatens, even though it is highly unlikely that he would be able to do so while trapped on this island.

“Oh, please,” Abel says with a quirked brow. “Look, I've spent the past three days hearing about your fucked up bromance. All I want to do is get through this, go home and pretend that I never met either of you.”

He storms out of the room leaving Jared flabbergasted and Jensen with a speculative expression. 

“Well?” Jared asks, because hiring Abel to do some slight poisoning aside, he doesn't really know the kid. However, he is a member of Jensen's crew and they seem to have a past history so clearly Jensen knows him better.

“I'll keep an eye on him,” is all Jensen says. “You work on getting Katie to distract Sheppard.”

“You know, I'm not a rat,” Abel announces as he walks back into the room. Both Jensen and Jared stare at him wordlessly. 

“All I'm saying is that Sheppard was wrong to single me out as the person who would spy for him.” Abel seems sincere enough but again, Jared doesn't really know the kid. That being said, even though Jensen swears to hate Abel Jared can tell that he doesn't. 

It's extreme dislike at best.

“Jake, just do us all a favour and keep your mouth shut,” Jensen snaps. He jabs a finger angrily before continuing, “And that doesn't mean that you should start posting nasty things about your band mates on Instagram.”

Jared sighs. “Let me guess, you're the asshole who broke up Buoy Life?”

Jensen didn't waste much time giving Jared the run-down on why his company failed. Mostly it was all Abel’s fault. He didn't take the band seriously and he didn't take his solo career seriously, thus squandering his and Pirate Records chance at the big time.

Abel pouts angrily. “Actually Dustin quit to take over his Dad’s bleach production company and Justin quit to become a monk. They  _ chose  _ to leave.”

“Wait, they had rhyming names?” Jared questions. He's not exactly up to date on his boyband making manual but rhyming names is a kind of cheesy. And not in a good way.

“We  _ all _ did,” Jake grumbles, rolling his eyes in annoyance. “Well. Sort of. My full name is  _ Austin _ Jake Abel.”

Jared grimaces. “You guys really were a triple threat…”

“Yeah, in how to end up on every ‘Boy bands You've Never Heard Of list,” Jensen snaps. 

“It's better than  _ nothing _ ,” Jake insists petulantly, eyes narrowing when Jensen glares at him.

Jared shakes his head as Jake and Jensen begin to bicker back and forth. They have a  _ long  _ road ahead of them.

~

They finally set off twelve hours after the crew members joined them, sans Katie who has a 'twisted ankle' and has no choice but to remain with Sheppard. Jensen’s not sure if they've done the right thing in leaving her, but Jared is confident that she can handle her own. So now they're using the tattered map that Sheppard provided and set path towards the furthest end of the island.    
  
"So, what happened with Jared?" Chris asks from where he's walking alongside him. Their boots are caked in dried sand and they all look like extras from the cast of  _ Waterworld _ but Jensen is glad to have his best friend back. Even if he is going to make him talk about Jared. Not that he has any coherent answer. They hooked up and they didn't talk about it. One minute Jared forgives him and the next, he's mad all over again. Jensen spent enough time with his quack therapist to know that they're trapped in a negative cycle.    
  
"Nothing happened," he mutters eventually. Chris stares at him in disbelief.    
  
"Define nothing."   
  
Jensen sighs, but he plays along. "Nothing. Means someone or something that has no interest, value, or importance.’’   
  
Chris elbows Jensen's side hard and grins when he yelps. He sobers after a few seconds and Jensen knows that this topic isn't dead yet.   
  
"Seriously, though, he means a lot to you and you guys have been alone for a long time with practically nothing to do," Chris points out. "You can't blame a guy for being curious and a friend for being concerned."   
  
"We talked and maybe something happened but I think I just have to let this go," Jensen says. "Maybe you were right before. I did a terrible thing to someone I cared about. To expect him to forgive me is wrong and waiting around for something that might never happen is only going to make me miserable."   
  
Chris pats his shoulder sympathetically and smiles bitterly. "Hey, it could be worse. You could be up on tax evasion charges instead.”

  
“Or I could be signing the lease on my third mansion and have no worries in life,” Jensen jokes, with a self depreciating smile.    
  
Chris chuckles dryly. "I wish."   
  
Luckily for Jensen, he spots a small alcove just off the path and he calls for everyone to stop.    
  
"We don't take orders from you," Caroline, the new addition from Jared’s crew, snaps before turning to Jared who raises his eyebrows.    
  
"Uh, I guess we should stop?" he says rather pointlessly. "And maybe we should reinforce our roles here."   
  
Jensen shakes his head. This isn't exactly how they planned this thing. Jake still has to report something back to Sheppard and Jensen doesn't trust Aldis enough to trust that he isn't also leaking information. He motions for Jared to step aside from the group and they come to a stop beside a palm tree that closely resembles Sideshow Bob   
  
"What are you doing?" he hisses when he has Jared’s attention. "You're supposed to challenge my authority and demand to have a say."   
  
Jared nods slowly, his fingers pulling on a loose shirt thread.    
  
"Dude, what the heck is going on with you?” Jensen asks. They can't afford for Jared to wimp out on their plan now."   
  
"I'm used to following your lead," Jared claims with a shrug. "Going up against you is just…. _ weird _ .”   
  
There's a strange look in his eyes, emotional and deep and Jensen can't deal with this right now. He's not Romeo and no matter how long Jared grows his hair out, he will never be Juliet. There's no star crossed lovers bullshit here. Just two emotionally damaged pirates who never really got over one another.    
  
Jensen huffs and shoves Jared roughly, carefully glancing up as he does so. The rest of the crew are watching them closely and he jabs a finger angrily for effect.    
  
"What was that for?" Jared whines petulantly while rubbing at the sore spot. "I can't help it!"   
  
“You're kidding me,” Jensen replies. "Because I'm pretty sure you were the one who tried to poison me with  _ granola _ bars.”   
  
Jared frowns and deep burrows appear on his forehead. It makes him look older somehow and drained of energy. However, they can't afford to slip up now. Jensen needs Jared to stick to the plan.    
  
"That was different," Jared insists. "I'm done being angry, Jensen. It's been eating away at me for ten years and I can either work with you or be mad at you, I can't do both."   
  
Jensen pinches the bridge of his nose and barely refrains from throttling Jared. Now is not the time for this crisis of confidence. It's almost like the time when Buoy Life split up despite Jensen's promise to replace Jake with a less demanding lead singer. He may have failed then but he doesn't plan to now.    
  
“Fine,” he says. “Just pretend. And when it's just me and you, things will be better. How about that?”   
  
Jared considers his words carefully as he spares a backward glance at the crew, who are looking annoyed that the journey has been interrupted.    
  
“That's doable,” Jared agrees. “And I'm sorry for freaking out.”   
  
Jensen waves a hand dismissively. "Just shove me back, walk back towards the group and let them know that we need to search this alcove."   
  
Jared's eyes soften momentarily and Jensen's worried that he's going to kiss him. At least until Jared pushes him back so hard that he trips over a rock and lands on his ass.    
  
"You're not the boss of me, asshole," Jared yells and Jensen glares back at him, no pretence necessary.    
  
"Can you make it a little less real next time?" he snaps.    
  
Jared winks and throws a grin in his direction. "Where's the fun in that?"   
  
He's already reached the group by the time Jensen manages to haul himself to his feet. 


	4. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter should be up soon! Thanks for your patience.

**Four**

The alcove proves to be fruitless, although, they do the find the remains of what used be a very impressive fruit basket. They keep the basket and ditch the dried, brown fruit and Jensen pockets the half empty bottle of rum he located not too far from the basket.   
  
“How are we supposed to know if there's actually any treasure on this island?” Sandy asks tiredly. She's not been as abrasive as Caroline or as hostile as Chad but she's been keeping her distance. If anything she seems to have eyes for Jared, but it's one sided at best. Even so, he lets Jared answer her question, not wanting to start yet another argument about who the leader is.    
  
"Aldis the Technical Analyst has some kind of fancy metal detector thing," Jared answers. "We just need to scale the island as quickly as possible within the time frame."   
  
"Maybe we should split up," Chris suggest. "That way we can cover more ground. Aldis has a spare a detector, right?"   
  
Aldis coughs uncomfortably before managing to mutter a "yes".    
  
Caroline doesn’t seem to be too impressed if the way her brown eyes are flashing is any indication.    
  
"Like hell you guys are going to go off your own," she snaps. "You might have helped us when our ship crashed, but that doesn’t mean that we trust you."   
  
Jensen gets her point but at this time, he's tired, hungry and not in the mood for someone who is going to challenge every single suggestion made.    
  
"Look, Caroline, you have your issues with me and my crew and I get that," he begins. "After listening to you rant and complain for two hours, I don't think much of you either. Right now all I'm interested in is finding the diamonds and getting off this island. You can either help us or go back to Sheppard. Your choice."   
  
To his surprise, Caroline grins. The sunlight shines onto her jet black hair and suddenly she looks like a completely different person.    
  
"I can see why people speak so highly of you."   
  
Jensen scoffs. The only person that speaks highly of him is his mother and that's only because he was able to keep that sex tape from leaking. The story of how his Christian mother and pirate father got together is one that never fails to confuse him. Of course his Dad is on wife number five and has eleven children in total, so…maybe it isn't as perplexing as it seems.    
  
"Really? I got my crew trapped on this island by chasing a non-existent ship," he says. "Some pirate I am."   
  
"Hey, Jared has been around for as long as this stupid stunt has been going and he fell for it," Sandy pipes up. "The shipwreck is not what we're judging you for."   
  
That's news to Jensen. Although, he's sure that they're judging him for the maroon incident.    
  
"Look, Jensen and I have spoken about what happened ten years ago and we are over it. So can we all just forget about the past and focus on the now?" Jared looks up at Jensen as he speaks, his eyes crinkling slightly when he offers a small smile.    
  
Jensen returns it, but sobers up soon after when he realises that they've gotten off track again.    
  
"Aldis, you said you'd pinpointed a few possible locations. Which one is the closest?" Aldis grabs his tablet and starts tapping at it quickly before offering it up for Jensen to observe.   
  
Jensen can still feel Jared's eyes on him as he steps forward to look at Aldis's screen.  

~    
  


Darkness arrives soon after sunset and Jensen instructs them to find somewhere safe to stay for the night. Jared offers an agreement but he can tell that his crew members barely see him as their leader anymore. In a way, he's grateful because Caroline is right. Chasing after the Crystal Shade liner was reckless on his part given that he knew of a rogue ship that was conning other pirates. On the other side, he can't pretend that it doesn't matter to him.   
  
He brushes off Chad's attempts to talk and settles beneath a large rock on the part of the beach they settle on. Technically, they shouldn't be too close to the water but Sheppard didn't exactly provide them with adequate supplies. He's just covered himself with a threadbare blanket when something touches his back and yells, "Boo!"   
  
After some undignified yelping and heart skipping, Jared unravels the blanket to find green eyes watching him intently.    
  
"Has anyone ever told you that you scream like a girl?" Jensen asks with a devious grin.    
  
Jared pulls the blanket back around him and snorts gently. "That's not what you said last night."   
  
"Touchè," Jensen replies. "So, Chad says that you're over here sulking. What's up? You're worried about what our captivity is doing to your hair?"   
  
Jared rolls his eyes. "Obsessing over appearance is your thing."   
  
"Exactly," Jensen agrees, with a look that tells Jared that he's fully aware of the whole internal dilemma thing. "So instead of worrying about how you come across with the other guys, focus on helping us get out of this mess."   
  
It's a nice pep talk, and one that he probably needed but still, Jared has his pride.    
  
"I still have a full say on all decisions and once today is over, we should probably go back to pretending to hate each other," he replies, casting an eye toward the surroundings and lowers his voice. "I'm pretty sure that Caroline is our second leak."   
  
Jensen frowns and tilts his head as he ponders Jared’s accusation. Jared turns away momentarily, not wanting to be caught looking for too long. He admits that he was a little starry eyed before when being here felt like old times, but he's not a love sick puppy, he's an adult. It's time that he started acting like one.    
  
"I'm not sure that Caroline is our leak," Jensen says after a while. "I have a theory but I'm not sure yet."   
  
Jared shrugs. "It's not Jake, that I know for sure. He looks up to you too much. There's no way he's giving Sheppard any serious intel."   
  
Jensen practically chokes on his tongue, not that Jared blames him. It took him a while to see it, even if the whole  _ not poisoning him _ was a flashing neon sign. If anything, Jake sees Jensen as an authoritative figure that he is predisposed to rebel against. Any malice from his end is relatively harmless.    
  
"He tried to  _ poison _ me," Jensen hisses. "Did you forget that part?"   
  
"You mean the part where he mysteriously managed to poison everyone  _ but _ you?"   
  
Jensen stops to consider this. "Fine. You win this point. Still, he's unpredictable. So keep an eye on him."   
  
Something in his voice tells Jared that Jensen already knows Jake won't betray them, However, questioning it means that he will hear about the person Jensen truly suspects. Given that both Sandy and Chad are close friends of his, he doesn't want to know until there's proof. Part of him hopes that the leak is on Jensen’s end.    
  
"Sure," he murmurs when he realises that Jensen is waiting for an answer. "I'll keep an eye on him."   
  
-   
  
" _ Gonna anchor your heart, baby. Gonna cling to you like everything's wavy, cause our bond is thick like gravy, oh, yeah, yeah, baby _ ."   
  
Jared wakes up to the distinctive sound of somebody singing  **Thick Like Gravy** by  _ Buoy Life _ . A song that offends him purely because gravy consistency  _ varies. _ What if someone's bond is runny like gravy? Why don't they get a song about it?   
  
It's highly likely that he's over thinking things.    
  
"Ugh, make it stop," he groans when the singing continues.

"Rise and shine, people ," Jensen calls from somewhere behind Jared. "You can all thank Jake for the wake up call. Even though he was off key."   
  
Jake begins to protest as Jared cranks open an eye, wrenching backwards when sunlight pours in and momentarily blinds him. The birds chirp happily and there's a cool breeze provided by the gentle swaying of the palm trees. It's just a pity that they're currently on a wild goose chase because this could be the vacation that Jared didn't know he needed.    
  
"What's on the agenda today?" Caroline asks as she emerges from another part of the beach. Despite that the fact that they all look extremely ruffled. There isn't a hair out of place on her head. Even her leather jacket is in pristine condition and seriously, isn't she hot in that thing?   
  
"Searching, searching, searching, answering your inane questions and more searching," Aldis snaps. He's already got his tablet in hand and Jared wonders how much battery power it can hold. And how it miraculously survived their shipwrecks. He mentally adds a tick of suspicion to Aldis's name.   
  
"You know, I've been thinking about you and your fancy gadgets," Chad says as he appears suddenly. The skin on his nose is red and Jared winces sympathetically. Sheppard could have at least provided them with sunblock.“That metal detector won't tell us if there are diamonds. Diamond is a  _ mineral _ .”   
  
There's a long pause before everyone turns to look at Chad with varying degrees of bemusement.    
  
Chad shrugs easily. "What? I have a degree in chemistry."   
  
"Then you'll know that where there's gold, there may be diamonds and my equipment strongly indicates the presence of precious metals on this island,” Aldis replies tetchily, like he’s personally offended that he no longer has the claim to fame as the smartest one in the group.   
  
Jared frowns. Sure, they're technically searching for diamonds, but Sheppard is a greedy bastard who probably wouldn't say no to gold.    
  
"And why you didn't tell us this before?" Jensen says, his voice laced with mild annoyance "Not that I really blame you. We haven't exactly really gotten to know each other. I have no idea what a Technical Analyst does.”

“They analyse stuff,” Chris informs him unhelpfully. Jared snorts but he doesn’t respond. 

Caroline huffs petulantly. “Can he analyse  _ stuff  _ faster? I don’t feel too good.” She is starting to look uncomfortable and Jared wonders why she doesn’t unzip her jacket at least.

“Maybe you could lose the jacket?” Sandy suggests. “It’s boiling.”

Everyone turns to Caroline in anticipation of her response. Jared’s been around her long enough to know that she’s unpredictable. One minute she blows hot, the other she blows  _ even hotter _ . 

“I suppose I could do that.” They watch as she peels the warm leather off to reveal a plan white ribbed vest top. She’s wearing a silver locket and has a small heart tattoo on her left shoulder. 

“Is it me or does she look completely different without the jacket on?” Jake asks, apparently oblivious to how uncomfortable Caroline is in the face of the scrutiny. 

She turns to glare at Jake. “It’s just you, Gravy Boy,”

Jake keeps his mouth shut after that. 

~   
  
They make their first breakthrough around midday when one of Aldis's machines starts beeping erratically and flashing brightly. The group have been standing around, watching the moving graphs on Aldis’ tablet -- anything to distract themselves from the heat.   
  
"Oh gosh, it's going to blow!!” Jake screams before he jumps into Sandy arms. Sandy shrieks as both she and Jake go tumbling down onto the sand covered bank. Given that she's barely five foot, Jared has to wonder if there's a screw loose in Jake's head. Or  _ several _ .    
  
"Relax, it isn't going to explode," Jensen says, looking up at Aldis expectantly, "Right?"   
  
Aldis rolls his eyes. "What the beeping means is that we need to grab a shovel and start digging. I set my detector to ping when we stumble on some indicator minerals and--"   
  
"Stop," Jensen says suddenly. "We came out all this way but…I'm pretty sure that none of us have any shovels. And we're not supposed to use the satellite phones until we find the treasure. Fuck.”   
  
Jared's eyes widen. Shit. He's starting to get the sense that they’re going to be just as unlucky as the previous crews that have been tricked into going on the wild goose chase. Partly because Sheppard is a cruel bastard but mostly because they're idiots.    
  
"Relax," Aldis says. "Luckily and conveniently for you, I brought the prototype of my iDigger. The electronic digger that does the job for you! Available for pre-order now on aldisdesigns.com." He reaches into the large duffel bag he’s been carrying and pulls out a small silver object that looks like a camera tripod. 

  
Jared stares at him. "Are you  _ seriously _ pimping out your company right now? We might not even be alive long enough for you to send out your first batch of deliveries."   
  
"Who cares?" Sandy snaps as she dusts herself off and glares at Jake. "The sooner we get digging, the sooner I can be away from this washed up boyband… _ boy. _ "

Jake makes a sound of protest and says, "For your information,  **_PEOPLE_ ** listed me number one on their ' _ Cutest Failed Boyband Member' _ list."

He sounds so proud of it that Jared has to stifle a chuckle.    
  
Sandy is unapologetically unimpressed with Jake's achievement. "And you were happy to be on a list that acknowledges that your career flopped?”   
  
"Hey, I'll take whatever I can get," Jake shrugs. Sandy smiles despite herself and Jared wonders if there's something going on there. Even though Jake seems to be a couple of scones short of a tea party, it would be nice to see some good come out of all this.   
  
"Look, Aldis, you get digging and the rest of us will try and figure out where we are exactly. I can't seem to make sense of this map." Jensen smoothes the worn out piece of paper and frowns at it briefly before Chad darts forward and snatches it.    
  
He eyes it curiously before he snorts dismissively. "This map is a fake. Seriously, it's more  _ Crayola _ than eighteenth century."   
  
Jensen snatches it back and eyes it curiously. "Well, you're right about there being something off about this map." He holds it up and taps it before he holds it up towards the light and narrows his eyes in concentration. After a few seconds, he gasps and his hands fall in shock.    
  
"What, what is it?" Jake asks frantically. "Is it some sort of clue?"   
  
Jensen frowns and glances at Jared briefly. "I guess you could say that. Jared - a word, please." 

He starts to move away from the group before Jared even responds and Jared has to jog to catch up with him.   
  
Jensen is pacing around repetitively when Jared catches up with him. If anything, he barely knows what to do with himself. He's wringing his hands and his hair is tousled, as if he's run his fingers through it a few times.

He’s worried about something and Jared’s not so sure that he wants to know about it. 

~   
  


The sinking feeling that’s been plaguing Jensen since all of this happened is reaching breaking point. 

  
"Brock was a little shit but…how did he know to check the loot at the exact moment that he saw you looking through it?" he asks Jared when he catches up with him.    
  
It's always played on his mind, but never long enough for him to question it deeply. Now? Everything that happened is like some sort of unstoppable reel from the last act of a horror film.    
  


Jared stares at him blankly. "What does that have to do with the map being fake? I thought we had decided to put the past behind us?"   
  
Of course  _ now _ is when Jared doesn't want to talk about what happened.    
  
"What I want and what I need to know are two different things," Jensen replies angrily. "I have a hunch and you're the only one who can confirm it for me."   
  
Jared releases a long suffering sigh, his shoulders drooping slightly as he prepares to answer. "Wasn't Chris in charge of security on Crosshairs? That included keeping an eye on…" He trails off seemingly coming to the same realisation Jensen did a short while ago.    
  
Chris's hands are not clean. He's involved in this somehow.    
  
"He's your best friend," Jared splutters. "Why would he do something like this."   
  
_ To hurt you _ , Jensen thinks, but he doesn't voice the thought.    
  
"Does that mean Chris is the leak?" Jared asks.   
  
Jensen shakes his head. "The only one of us who could possibly be transmitting any information is Aldis. Plus, he wasn't subtle about wanting money for his…designs. I’m not sure what his end game is really.”

"What about Caroline?" Jared questions. He’s frowning slightly, as if he’s struggling to process everything. Jensen’s in the same boat (no pun intended).    
  
"Oh, she and I talked last night," he replies. "It turns out that a lot of her pent up anger and frustration stems from her messy divorce. She's not the leak."   
  
To say Jared looks disinterested would be an understatement but he nods with such conviction that his hair falls into his eyes.   
  
"Okay, but that doesn't explain how the map led you to Chris."   
  
"There's a riddle hidden in the map and the answer is--"   
  
"Oh, wait, I want to guess!" Jared interrupts with an honest to God  _ bounce _ .    
  
Normally, Jensen would find it cute but he's just found out that his best friend has been stabbing him in the back. Is it too much to ask for some sympathy? 

Anyway, the riddle was fairly easy to deduce and Chris must have been having a good old laugh at Jensen’s expense ever since he received it. He might not want to believe this but Chris is in the best position to hurt Jensen where it counts. 

The riddle reads:

_ Bright like diamonds  _

_ Hard like rock _

_ I'm crushed or cubed or solid block _

_ Look inside me _

“It's ‘ice’, right?” Jared asks. “But what does that have to do with Chris?”

“It's...complicated.” Jensen doesn't meet Jared’s eye because he's ashamed. The ice is in reference to Jensen’s favourite movie  _ Titanic. _

Chris always seemed to be there whenever Jensen would curl up with a bottle of vodka, his Titanic DVD and a boatful of memories. 

“ _ I don’t understand why you like this shit so much,” Chris says _

_ “Jared and I are like, Titanic,” is Jensen’s response. “We’re the boat and like, the ice smacked into us and tore us apart.” _

_ “You know what? Less talky and more drinky,” Chris says. _

Jensen knows how the story of the Titanic concluded. He's just not sure how  _ this _ one is going to end. 

~

By the time they rejoin the group, everyone except for Aldis (and his iDigger) is sitting along the sand, wearing matching expressions of wariness as Chris points a semi automatic weapon at them. Jared shares a look with Jensen but they remain silent. 

“I see that you've finally figured it out,” Chris says with a manic grin. There's a wild look in his eyes and Jared starts to get a serious  _ Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction _ vibe. He's half expecting Chris to pull a bunny from somewhere.

Jensen frowns. “Help us. Because what I've figured out is kind of hard to believe.” 

His tone is indifferent but Jared knows him well enough to hear the underlying hurt and surprise. This is the kind of betrayal than one doesn't get over. 

“Sheppard offered me a good deal and I took it,” Chris explains with a murderous glint in his eye. “I'm sick of following you around and getting nothing for my troubles.”

“Well, this is unfortunate,” Chad says in a somewhat stunned tone. Only then does Jared notice the rest of the group’s matching expressions of fear. He knows that he has to take control of the situation somehow but he's not sure how. 

Jake splutters messily. "This is not unfortunate. Unfortunate is when you wake up on the morning of an important photoshoot with a huge zit on your face. Unfortunate is when the makeup they use to cover up the zit causes you to break out into more zits. Unfortunate is when you walk in your girlfriend fucking your fifty year old manager.   
  
"Unfortunate is when your ramen goes cold and the microwave doesn't work so you either starve or use a knife and fork to cut it into pieces. Unfortunate is the head of your label trying to get you to mime over pre recorded tracks. Unfortunate is when---”   
  
Jared senses that this rant won't be over anytime soon so he decides to interject. "I think what Jake is saying is that this is a  _ fucking disaster _ ."   
  
"Amen to that," Chad agrees. "If you're not eating ramen before it gets cold you're doing it all wrong."   
  
Jared barely has time to chastise Chad before Chris points the gun at him. Chad shuts up really quickly after that, scurrying back so that he's further away from the weapon. Jensen is still staring at Chris as if he's a huge puzzle that he can't quite figure out.    
  
"Nothing for your troubles?" Jensen repeats, with a dark edge to his voice. "Please tell me that this is a sick joke."   
  
Jake rolls his eyes from his spot on the sand. "You've been funding his coke habit for the last ten years, of course this is a sick joke."   
  
Everybody turns to stare at Chris.    
  
"Oh please, a bit of blow never killed anyone." The look on his face makes it obvious that it wasn’t just a ‘bit’ of blow.    
  
There are a series of disbelieving murmurs and Jared’s pretty sure Caroline is three minutes away from tackling Chris and making him pay for this with his blood. Hell, she’s even put her jacket back on.   
  
Jensen sighs heavily. "Can you just get to the part where you tell me why you did this?"   
  
"Fine," Chris snaps. "You were my Captain and I would have done anything for you. I thought you were fair. I thought you were honest. And then Brock Kelly confirmed my suspicion. You were stealing treasure for yourself. You and Padalecki."   
  
Jared frowns because that's not what happened at all. In fact, it was Chris' backward ways that made him and Jensen keep their 'relationship' hidden. The fact that Chris sent Kelly to spy on him makes his blood boil.    
  
"Chris, that ring was  _ mine _ . All of the fucking treasure we went after was  _ mine _ ," Jensen barks furiously. "I gave Jared the ring because we were  _ together _ . It was a stupid anniversary gift and you ruined it all by forcing me to abandon him. Now I know why. You were jealous."   
  
"And jonesing," Jake adds unhelpfully. "Can you skip to the part where he tells us his genius plan?"   
  
There are murmurs of agreement, especially from Caroline who still looks like she wants to fly kick one  of them back to civilisation.   
  
Chris grins wildly and gestures at Aldis. "All of the money that I embezzled from Pirate Records paid for that digger. Ha. Bet you didn't know that."

Jensen gapes at his friend silently, his mouth opening and closing in shock. A bird chirps above them, the noise loud and shrill. It’s almost like a warning sign for the shitstorm that’s heading their way.   
  
"I'm surprised that you're smart enough to know how to embezzle money," Jared says.    
  
Chad cackles loudly. "Oh,  _ buuuurn _ !" 

Sandy elbows him and Jared shakes his head when Chad's gleeful expressing turns into one of pain.    
  
Jake rolls his eyes for what seems like the fiftieth time. For someone who's being held at gunpoint, he's being remarkably calm. And  _ sassy _ . "He's not smart. He was screwing around with the company's accountant."   
  
Jensen finally looks away from Chris to acknowledge Jake and asks,"How is it that you know all of this?" 

He looks so confused that Jared can't help feeling sorry for him. Pirate Records sounds like it was a hot mess.    
  
"I was planning on suing Pirate Records for loss of earnings," Jake explained. "I hired a PI to do some digging and she sent back a fifteen minutes mp3 recording of herself laughing her head off and a huge dossier that pretty much read ' _ money all gone _ '. Fucking disaster sounds about right."   
  
Sandy snorts from where she’s sandwiched between Caroline and Chad. "Huh. So he's not as dumb as he looks."   
  
"Can I remind you all that we left Katie with that pathetic excuse of a man Sheppard?" Caroline cuts in before Jake can reply. "So can we get to digging or bad guy-ing or whatever. Please."   
  
Jared sighs. It's going to be a long day.   
  
~

  
Aldis is still digging when the roaring sounds of a chopper fills the area of the beach they're on. Jensen's slumped in a damp spot, his eyes firmly on Chris despite his relaxed stance. The chopper circles around them briefly and after a few minutes a large parcel lands a few millimetres away from Jensen's feet.  Luckily for them, the sand settles relatively quickly and most importantly -  there's none in his hair. After he’s done checking his hair, he reaches forward and pulls the package closer.    
  
"What is it?" Chris demands before Jensen can even begin to open it. Jensen ignores him in favour of reading the note on the package because it’s either that or sucker punching Chris in his stupid face.   
  
_ Just so you know, I'm not a complete bastard _ _   
_ _ Here's some refreshments!  _ _   
_ **-Sheppard**   
  
"Looks like it's lunchtime," Jensen mutters as he tears the package open to find a bunch of molded pulp cushions. With a grunt, he pulls them out and finally comes face to face with more hard tack than he ever wanted to see in his lifetime, a fresh fruit basket and a two litre bottle of Coke. "Who wants to have a picnic?"   
  
Jared leans over and rummages through the package. After a couple of seconds, his hand emerges with a multipack of lime and orange tic tacs.    
  
"He's really spoiling us," Jared mutters as he throws the packet back.   
  
"Hey, keep it shut," Chris barks from where he stands. "One of you needs to bring that parcel over to me."   
  
Jensen ignores Chris again, because he's having a hard time processing all of this. Sure, he did kind of leave a lot in Chris' hands and he maybe didn't get ask a lot of questions but embezzling money to pay for a treasure hunt? That's just downright  _ rude _ .    
  
"Come and get it yourself, jackass," Jake snaps. Jensen’s been impressed with the kid's resilience during all of this. It doesn’t make up for the money and time he cost Jensen, but it’s better than what he was expecting - a lot of crying and snot.   
  
Chris isn't as impressed. "Last time I checked,  _ I _ was the one with the gun."   
  
There's a sigh from behind Jensen and he can hear Chad and Sandy muttering amongst themselves. He’s somewhat curious about what they’re saying but he ignores them in favour of redirecting his attention back to Chris.   
  
"Yeah, and last time I checked, you have  _ legs _ ," Jake retorts. "Get it yourself or shoot one of us. Your choice."   
  
"Hey, nobody is shooting anyone," Aldis says in a commanding tone. "Everybody shut the fuck up, please."   
  
There's a long silence before Chris deflates and says, "Can you pass me the Tic Tacs, please?"   
  


~   
  
In the end, Chris's plan crumbles around him. It starts with a hushed conversation. Jensen and the others are still huddled on the now dry and itchy sand. Afternoon has passed and they're all bored. Sandy and Chad are playing Noughts and Crosses with some dry branches Chris hurled at Jake after a particularly loud argument and Jared's close to Jensen, his expression pensive. Caroline doesn’t seem to be as angry anymore, but it could just be that the hardtack is unsettling her somehow. 

Hardtack has that effect on people.   
  
The calm is broken when Aldis's digger starts beeping erratically.It’s almost surreal but then again, Chris embezzled a shit ton of money from him - the fucking thing had better work. They all watch in awe as the tiny machinery pulls a huge dark brown chest out of the whole in the ground.    
  
_ Well I'll be damned, _ Jensen thinks. Something nudges him and he doesn't need to look to see that it's Jared.    
  
"What's the plan?" Jared asks. Jensen shakes his head because they're pirates and technically, he owns that damn iDigger. Chris can go and fuck himself.    
  
"On my count, you grab Aldis and I'll grab Chris,” he whispers in response.

  
He counts them out silently, using his fingers to notify Jared, and then launches himself at Chris. From his periphery, he sees Jake jump up and a blur hurtling past him. He turns back to the matter at hand and yanks Chris's hands towards him, desperate to get the gun. Chris punches his stomach but Jensen holds on and they both fall to the ground. The cold metal brushes against his palm and he latches onto it.    
  
"Give me the gun," Jensen growls angrily. "You lying sack of shit. Twenty years and you chose to betray me."

There’s  _ definitely  _ sand in his hair now, but that’s the least of his worries. They tousle some more, dry coarse sand sticking to the sweat on Jensen’s chest. It’s itchy and gross but his main concern is  _ kicking Chris’s ass.  _   
  
Chris lashes out at him wildly but Jensen refuses to let go.    
  
"Twenty years and you let him come between us," Chris spits out and Jensen coughs as something smacks into his chest.    
  
"Did it ever occur," he starts breathily, "that I just wasn't that into you? We had  _ one  _ drunken kiss and that was it."   
  
Jensen prays that Jared isn't within earshot but at this point, it doesn’t matter. Sheppard is probably going to kill them all anyway.    
  
Jensen’s lapse proves to be costly and he feels the searing pain rip through him before he hears the shot. Everything that happens next is a blur. Chris is practically ripped from him, landing nearby with a painful sounding thud. By the time Jensen can open his eyes, Jared is crouching down in front of him, peering at his shoulder worriedly. Caroline emerges next, armed with strips of cloth. It takes her a few seconds to successfully push Jared out of the way but she manages it. Jensen can hear Chris cussing and ranting but it's distant, secondary to the hot sting of the gunshot wound.   
  
"I was an army medic," she tells them matter-of-factly. She peers at the wound and hums contentedly. "Looks like it's just a flesh wound. Your buddy's aim is even worse than his kidnapping skills."   
  
Before Jensen can ask about what is happening to Chris, Jake pipes up.    
  
"So, what happens now?"    
  
Jensen growls. "I've just been shot, asshole, how about a little sympathy?”

Caroline rolls her eyes as she patches him up quickly and effectively.

Jake scoffs, and Jensen can see that he’s smiling a little, like he’s actually happy that Jensen isn’t too hurt.. “Some fucking hero you are. You'll live.”

Despite the apparent concern, Jensen wishes he could wring the little twerp’s neck but he settles for flipping him the bird. 

He decidedly does not meet Jared’s eyes even though he can tell that Jared is most certainly looking at him.


	5. Escape

**Five**

Jensen watches on while Chad and Jared tie an unusually subdued Chris up using strips of fabric from a random shirt they found beneath a dark patch of sand. The argument with Chris replays in his mind and the betrayal stings much more than his wound ever will. He swigs from the bottle of rum he found before and does his best to feel nothing. He just wants to succumb to numbness and ignore the way everything _burns._  
  
"Aldis, are you going to be able to open this?" Jared asks when he's finished with Chris. He's pointing at the chestnut brown chest which has a rather intricate lock attached to it. It seems like they will need a cast iron key to open it, unless Aldis has another magical device somewhere.

Jared's face is flushed slightly, brow furrowed as he waits for an answer.  
  
"I'm not sure," the other man answers. "I don't want to risk damaging the chest." Aldis tilts his head to one side and places his forefinger under his chin.  
  
From the way Jared’s jaw tenses, Jensen knows that he won't be very receptive to that answer. And sure enough, Jared's response is to produce Chris' gun from somewhere and shoot at the lock twice. Jensen jumps at the first shot, recoils back just in time for the second

  
Hell, shooting the lock open works too.

He can see Sandy and Chad exchanging concerned looks while Caroline stands watch over Chris.  
  
"That was smart," Jake intones sarcastically as the bullet holes finally stop smoking. "Like Sheppard won't have heard that."  
  
Despite the fact that Jensen was Captain for most of their friendship, Jared's mean streak was enough to make him stay well away. There's no talking to him when he loses his patience and well, Jake would probably throw a fit if Jensen used his special  'skills'.  
  
However, Jared doesn't answer as he kneels down to check the latches on the chest. Even Jensen waits with bated breath as Jared pushes open the lid. He is too far away to see the contents but judging by everyone else's reaction, there's something spectacular inside it. He uses his left hand to push himself up, ignoring the way his right shoulder twinges with pain. He stumbles forward and comes face to face with the shiny glint of what looks to be several hundred gold coins.  
  
"Okay, so, Sheppard or not, I'm not leaving this island without some of these coins," Chad comments immediately.

Caroline lets out a low whistle and even Chris shoots the chest an appreciative glances.  
  
Jensen has the same thoughts as Chad, although mostly because he's been shot and his best friend has betrayed him. Nothing soothes external and _internal_ pain like gold does.  
  
Jared ignores Chad and turns to Jensen, "Do you want to contact Sheppard or should I?"  
  
It takes a while for Jensen to look away from the gold, but when he does he shakes his head slightly and faces Jared. If someone doesn’t calm him down now, there's no telling what will happen.  
  
"Can you guys give us a minute?"

There's some reluctant muttering but Chad, Jake and Sandy step away as Caroline hoists Chris up and drags him backwards. Aldis remains where he is until Jensen glares at him.  
  
"You too, Dr. Claw," he snaps. Aldis's eyes widen at the barb and Jensen braces himself for an argument.  
  
Aldis surprises him by saying, "Hey, you take that back! If anything I'm _Inspector Gadget_ ."  
  
Jared makes a disgruntled sound. "Inspector Gadget is good. You helped a maniac orchestrate our kidnapping." He crosses his arms tightly, eyes narrowing as Aldis begins to squirm.  
  
"All he told me was that he was a venture capitalist," Aldis explains; he wraps his arms around himself, his dark hands gripping his upper arms so tightly that Jensen wonders if the seams of his shirt will remain intact.  
  
"Does he _look_ like a venture capitalist to you?" Jared practically yells. He clenches his fists and Jensen realises that he has to get Aldis to shut the fuck up before Jared starts throwing punches.  
"You," he points at Aldis, "Go away and let us talk."  
  
Jensen doesn't wait for Aldis to move before he rounds on Jared. "And you. Less of the _Incredible Hulk_ impression, okay?"  
  
Jared stares at him wordlessly for a few seconds before the tension bleeds out of him in one fell swoop. His shoulders sag and Jensen watches his stormy hazel eyes clear up.  
  
"He _shot_ you."

He gets it then. Jared’s pissed about that, but still all of this macho behaviour is a bit much.  
  
Jensen rolls his eyes. "I'm well aware of that. Luckily I'm not the kind of guy who gets a complex from his ex trying to kill him and his best friend shitting all over him."  
  
He motions towards the satellite phone hooked to Jared’s shirt. "What's the plan?"  
  
Jensen never did come up with one and the pain is clouding his thoughts. Either they alert Sheppard about the treasure or they tell him they haven't found it and face the consequences. Neither of those options sound particularly appealing, hell, he'd rather listen to Britney Spears sing live and that's just _asking_ for trouble.  
  
"We give Sheppard a taste of his own medicine."  
  
Jared's tone is dark and Jensen swears under his breath. Despite everything he's done in his life, he's not a killer. He's never thrown anyone overboard. Hell, he kept them in a bottom bunk and secretly whisked them off the ship whenever they stopped. Ironically, Jared is the only crew member that he ever punished savagely and that wasn't his choice.  
  
"How?" he asks.  
  
Jared smiles deviously. "By sending him on a treasure hunt of his own."  
  
~  
  
To Jared's surprise, Jensen actually goes with his plan. Of course it could be that he's in pain and desperately in need of medical attention but still, it makes him feel giddy. The plan is simple. Inform Sheppard that they know of the location and trick him into getting there by himself. While there, they will overpower his men and steal their method of transportation.  
  
Once they've called Sheppard, a subdued Aldis triangulates his location and gives them an estimated thirty minutes to refine the plan and get everyone on board.  
  
Unsurprisingly, Jake has an issue with this.  
  
"Look, I'm all for us escaping Witch Mountain but, do you see Jean Claude around here, man?"  
  
Jensen moves to cross his arms but remembers his injury at the last minute and makes an abortive gesture that leaves his hands flailing slightly.  
  
"What about that Women's Defense Class the label made you take?" he asks Jake, effectively shutting him up. Jake turns red and begins to sputter incoherently and Jensen turns away from him.  
  
"For this plan to work, we need to leave something for Sheppard to find," Jared explains. He scratches the back of his neck thoughtfully. "We just haven't figured out what."  
  
Caroline steps forward and gestures towards Chris. "Leave him."  
  
Despite the birdsong, it all goes eerily quiet. Jensen presses his lips together and remains silent while Chad and Sandy exchange yet another look. Jake shrugs but doesn't offer any comment. And Jared? Well, he's not exactly averse to Caroline's suggestion. The only thing is that Chris is Jensen’s best friend and betrayal or not, one doesn’t just stop caring overnight.

He knows that firsthand.  
  
"That's up to Jensen," he tells Caroline. "Either way, we might have to bury the empty chest and find a way to smuggle the coins past Sheppard’s goons."  
  
Sandy waves her hand, "I think I can help with that. It's about time that I redesigned this dress." Jared looks down at her and doesn't disagree. Her long flowing dress is now streaked with dirt, water marks and dry sand. It looks heavy and uncomfortable so he's not sure how she's been surviving in it.  
  
"I'll help Sandy along with Jake," Chad adds with a wink. "Caroline will keep watch over Chris and Aldis."  
  
She grunts but stomps away without complaint as the other three scurry away.  
  
Jensen rolls his eyes. "Well that was subtle."  
  
Jared, however, is grateful for his own best friend.  
  
"I meant what I said."  
  
Jensen raises an eyebrow in a manner that says ' _care to elaborate_ ?'  
  
Jared exhales slowly. "I'm done being angry. With you. With Chris even. And…all I can say is that you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if you left Chris here."  
  
"Like hell I wouldn't," Jensen snaps. "It's what he deserves. He knew how much I…"  
  
Jensen trails off as if he's suddenly unsure of himself.  
  
"He knew that you cared about me and he did it anyway," Jared finishes. He shrugs a little. "It's in the past. Well. Current situation aside."  
  
Jensen appraises him silently for a moment before he shrugs, like it doesn't even matter. The casual gesture stings, even though Jared can understand it.. Jensen's tired of all of this and so is _he._

"This doesn't have anything to do with you, so how about you keep out of it," he snaps, leaving Jared shocked.  
  
How is any of this _his_ fault?  
  
When he puts this question to Jensen all he gets is another pained shrug. It takes a while but he understands. This is Jensen’s way of making sure that he doesn't blame himself.  
  
"Look, I just want to figure out where we stand," Jared explains. "We haven't seen each other in years but given that I was mad enough to try and kill you and I guess crazy enough to forgive you, clearly there’s still something here. And that means that your problems are _my_ problems."  
  
"Yeah, cause that’s what you were thinking when my Dad set us up. This is the man of my dreams just ready to unload his burdens on me."  
  
Jared groans loudly because that's a little bit warped even for him.  
  
"Your dad didn't set us up, asshole," he clarifies. "You were looking for someone to set up a ship with. And the guy he made the meeting with bailed on you."  
  
"The first thing you said to me was 'Oh, wow, you're prettier than I expected.' That screams set up to me. Just you know, not quite how my Dad expected it."  
  
Jared can't help cracking a smile.  
  
"You calm yet?" Jensen asks. "Cause we need to take down Sheppard and somehow get everyone off this island."  
  
"I still say that we should leave Sheppard here."  
  
"No. I'll never forgive myself for leaving you and…I just can't. I know that it was hard for you and that it seemed like I went off and had it so easy but…there's a reason why Chris hoodwinked me so easily.  
  
"I was a mess. But I buried it. With guys. Booze. Girls. Whatever I could do to forget the fact that I abandoned the one person that matters to me. And then I screwed everything up anyway. Like I always do."  
  
Jared doesn't know what to say to that. He wasn't there so he can't comment. All he can do is forgive and let Jensen work through his own issues.  
  
If that means that he has to wait then…he's had a lot of practice.  
  
For now, he's content with pressing a dry kiss on Jensen's forehead and allowing them to share a quiet moment.  
  
~  
  
Sheppard arrives in an obnoxious black Land Rover that leaves plumes of smokes in its wake. Jared breathes a sigh of relief when he sees Katie in the passenger seat. She looks relatively unscathed but he won't rest well until he speaks to her. He watches as Sheppard and his goons step out and form a line. Katie rolls her eyes as she comes to stand by Jared.  
  
"You owe me big time for this," she hisses angrily. Jared squeezes her wrist gently and offers her an apologetic smile.  
  
Sheppard steps forward and manages to look comically out of place in front of his tall goons.  
  
"You rang?" he says in that snide tone that makes Jared want to kick his ass so hard that he bounces three times and lands on a bed of hot coals.  
  
"We found the treasure," Jensen says with a smirk. "So, I guess your little plan isn't going to work."  
  
Sheppard manages to look flummoxed for the first time since Jared set eyes on him. There's wide eyes and a lot of gaping and Jared is honestly curious to see how Sheppard is going to play this out.  
  
"Well. That's something isn’t it." He turns around to confer with his goons and they're in the middle of whispering loudly when Jake clears his throat.  
  
"Look, _Penguin_ , we found the treasure," he snaps. "That means that we get to go back to America and eat _Cheetos_ and watch _Fairly Odd Parents_ ."  
  
"First, I resent you picking the _worst_ Batman villain to insult me with and two, what are you _twelve_?" Sheppard growls. He glances back at his goons briefly. "I want to see the treasure. And then I'll decide on your fate."

  
Caroline smiles through gritted teeth. "I'll be happy to show you." Sheppard eyes her suspiciously before beckoning the tallest of his goons. The three of them leave, walking past a group of large palm trees that mark the start of the path they chose when plotting on how to contain Sheppard.  
  
That leaves Jensen, Sandy and Jake, Katie and Jared facing off with the three goons that Sheppard left behind.  
  
"So, guys, how about a friendly sparring session?" Jensen says with a smug look.  
  
"Look, we don't want any trouble. How about we all just wait here quietly? Hmm." The ginger haired goon seems like a nice fellow but the fact that he's working for Sheppard means that Jared doesn't feel too bad when Katie launches herself at him and slaps him.  
  
Pandemonium breaks out soon after as Jake and Sandy take on another goon, with Sandy jumping onto the goons back when he manages to slip his arm around Jake's throat.  
  
The third goon eyes Jared nervously and sighs despondently. "How about I just let you hit me once and then call it a day? I'm done with Sheppard. Hell, I'm only here because he had some compromising information on me."  
  
"Please tell me that it's not a sex tape?" Jared and Jensen ask in unison.  
  
The goon raises an eyebrow. "Let's just say that Sheppard managed to find a different profession that isn't failed pirate."  
  
"I don't know whether I should be impressed or grossed out," Jensen says with a subtle head shake.  
  
"Definitely grossed out. My name is Jeff by the way." Bizarrely enough, Jeff smiles slightly, lips upturned beneath his salt and pepper beard. Idly, Jared notes that the guy is rather attractive. And then he catches Jensen's knowing look and turns away quickly.  
  
"Guys a little help here?" Jake's strangled voice cuts into their conversation and Jared realises that he and Sandy are still battling Goon #2.  
  
"Hey, Matt, leave them alone. We are done being Sheppard’s lackeys."  
  
Matt stops, his fist raised in mid-air as Jake struggles against his tight grip. "We are?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Katie seems to hear what's going on because she stops kicking the guy that she attacked and looks up. "Well, you coulda told us that before I kicked this guy's ass."  
  
The guy on the floor groans and Jared can't help wincing sympathetically. Nobody messes with Katie Cassidy without paying for it at some point.  
  
"You okay, Ron?" Jeff asks with what appears to be a smirk on his face.  
  
Ron grunts but doesn't answer.  
  
"So did you find any treasure?" Jeff asks curiously. There's something in his tone that puts Jared on edge and he feels his muscles tense involuntarily.  
  
"Is this the part where you reveal that you've been staging a coup and _gasp_ \- you're going to take any treasure we find for yourself and leave us to rot here?" Jensen asks in a tone that also has Jared feeling antsy.

Jensen might have found ways to get past being an outright tyrant while maintaining his reputation but his anger can be dangerous sometimes. Plus he's starting to look a little pale and there's a burrow in his forehead that tells Jared that he's probably feeling a lot of pain in his shoulder.  
  
"M-maybe," Jeff stammers. "Unless you have a better suggestion?"  
  
"Yeah, how about you do the right thing and help my friends here to safety," Jensen says. "After all, I have my crew back there and Jared's. All I need to do is make the call and they will defeat the rest of Sheppard’s cronies and wait around for you to come back."  
  
Jeff frowns. "How would you call them? They have no way of communicating. We made sure of that."  
  
Katie steps forward, her eyes twinkling as she grins. "Yeah, I didn't really twist my ankle. But I did slip one of the satellite phones to the rest of the crew. Oops."  
  
"You idiots won't get away with this!" They all turn to see Sheppard being led out of the path he went down not long ago; with a gun pressed to his back. Chris and Aldis follow suit, both handcuffed to each other and wearing matching grim expressions. Chad whoops and Jared can't help the smile that breaks out on his face.  
  
"Looks like you lose, Sheppard," Jensen says hoarsely. The smile fades from Jared's face when he sees Jensen stumble and begin to fall backwards. He rushes forward, reaching Jensen just before he hits the floor. Jensen’s eyes are glazed, the usually vibrant green now dull and hazy. He feels cold under Jared’s hands and panic races through him.  
  
"Two become one?" Jensen murmurs just before he passes out, leaving Jared's heart in pieces in the process.  
  
~  
  
When Jensen comes too, the first thing he sees is a cream coloured ceiling. The bright colour stings his eyes and he closes them momentarily, allowing his memories to refresh slowly. He remembers seeing Sheppard being led out of somewhere by Chad and Caroline…in cuffs? His eyes fly open again and he realises that Jared's sitting by his bedside and what the hell? Why is he in a _bed_ ?  
  
"Oh, you're awake?" Jared says in a casual tone when Jensen’s gaze centers on him. Jared puts down the book he was flipping through and reaches for something on the night table.

Suddenly a bottle of water with a straw is thrust in his face and Jensen has no option but to drink. The cool water soothes his throat and allows him to gain his bearings. He remembers being shot during his struggle with Chris, remembers how he felt a strong wave of dizziness as Sheppard spoke.  
  
"What happened?" he asks when Jared sets the water back down. He looks around frantically. "And where am I?"  
  
Jared eyes him carefully before he answers. "We're in New York. In a hotel."  
  
Jensen's eyes widen once again as panic floods his system. He can't be back in the US! The IRS will catch him and then arrest him and next thing he knows he'll have a pot belly, trucker hair and a cell right next to Bernie's in North Carolina.  
  
"Dude, relax," Jared replies, causing Jensen to realise that he said all of that out loud. "You're in the clear."  
  
Jensen freezes. In the clear how? Last time he got himself indebted to someone he ended up trapped on an island by said person. He doesn’t want a repeat of that.  
  
He motions for Jared to come closer and winces as the chair legs screech.  
  
"Look, it feels like there's a marching band in my head and I don't remember anything past passing out and given that we're back in NYC, clearly some time has passed. So how about we skip the idle chit chat and get to the exposition?"  
  
Jensen exhales heavily when his rant comes to an end and he finds Jared watching him with an amused smirk.  
  
"It's good to have you back," he says. "And to answer your question, all hell broke loose when you passed out. Sheppard tried to escape but Caroline managed to stop him with some martial arts kind of thing. It was kind of impressive really because--"  
  
“Jared?” Jensen interrupts. "Get to the point please."  
  
“Oh, right, sorry, anyway, when that was under control, we all managed to pile into the Land Rover--”  
  
Jensen can't help his second interjection, "All of us?"  
  
Jared shrugs. "It was a tight squeeze but we managed. Anyway, Caroline said that you probably had an infection but Mike - that's the Holistic Therapist - said that he could heal you with these hot and cold stones and something about healing hands. Halfway through that experiment, Chad tripped over a rock and cut his leg and Mike passed out because he--"  
  
"Hates the sight of blood," Jensen cuts in suddenly remembering how useless Mike was during the poisoning incident.  
  
"Yup," Jared confirms. "All in all, he wasn't really a good crew member but anyway, conveniently for us, Jeff is pilot and he was able to get us off the island in Sheppard’s chopper."  
  
Jensen can't help it. He has to ask again. "All of us?"  
  
Jared grimaces. "No. Just you, me, Aldis and Sandy. But he did go back for the others. And the treasure."  
  
Speaking of the treasure...  
  
"Where is the chest by the way?" he asks. "God, I don't even know how we are going to split it. There's…a lot of us and---"  
  
"We gave everyone a gold coin and told them never to speak of this again."  
  
Oh. Well. That's one way of resolving the issue.  
  
"And everyone was okay with that?" Jensen queries. "Even Chris?"  
  
Jared winces automatically and then tries to cover it up with a weak smile. "Yeah…about that"  
  
Jensen raises an eyebrow. "Go on."  
  
"Look, I know that he's your friend and all but he had to pay for what he did. To me. And to you. So…when Jeff made your problem go away, we kind of had to alert the FBI to the embezzlement. He's sitting in a county cell right now awaiting bail."  
  
Jensen considers the information silently. Given Chris' previous social standing as his CFO, it's highly likely that he won't ever see any real jail time but it doesn’t mean that he wants Chris to get away with all that he's done.  
  
Still, maybe this is how the story ends. The bad guy goes to jail and he gets the girl. Or _guy_ . But first… 

"What happened to the rest of the crew - coins aside?"  
  
Jared snorts. "Those coins are worth 8-10 mil a piece. Most of them are long gone. A few of them stuck around though. Guess they wanted to see if your sorry ass would live."  
  
Jensen laughs at that. Yeah, right. Considering that most of them were poisoned on his watch, he's not surprised that they're gone.  
  
What surprises him is that he's not going to miss being a pirate.

“So...what else have I missed?”  
  
~  
  
Once he's showered and dressed in clean clothes, Jared allows him to venture out of the bedroom of the penthouse suite. It’s a nice suite, all calm hues and peaceful colours. He's also surprisingly happy to see Caroline, Jake, Chad along with Sandy and Katie. The book is still out on Aldis who has the nerve to look sheepish when Jensen glances at him.  
  
"Please tell me that we're not in Trump's hotel" he says when he looks away, because Presidency hoopla aside, the last thing he needs is to end up in a Twitter storm that he's not even present for.  
  
"Relax, we're at the Plaza," Jake says from his spot on one of the cream couches. "And you look like shit."  
  
"Like I said, Jake, being pretty is not a---"  
  
"A pirate requirement," everyone choruses.  
  
"But it is a _Jensen_ requirement," Jared adds as he tosses over a small container. Jensen catches it one hand and almost screams when he sees that it's his favourite moisturizer - _La Prairie's Cellular Cream Platinum Rare._  
  
Jake shakes his head wearily. "That shit was a grand, can you believe that. Thankfully my girl is less high maintenance." He puts an arm around Sandy and Jensen stares at them and turns to Jared who just shrugs helplessly.  
  
"Speaking of girls," Chad says, in that loud annoying way that always irritates Jensen. "When are you two going to kiss and make up for _real_ ?"  
  
"Chad," Jared hisses, his face suddenly red with embarrassment. "Leave it. And. Yeah. I'm gonna go and enquire about lunch."

He scurries out before Jensen can even shoot him a reassuring look, the door slamming loudly behind him.  
  
"So, how long was I sick for?" he asks the group, knowing that Jared most likely gave him the Cliff Notes.  
  
Caroline stands up from where was perched at the breakfast bar and approaches him slowly. "Three weeks. Your shoulder was in a bad way and you had a nasty infection. We didn't think you were going to make it at one point."  
  
If anything the way she doesn't mince the truth should be soothing but it isn't. It just freaks him out that it was so serious.  
  
"What about the ships?" he tries to change the subject because it's a little too personal for him. And also because he doesn’t really know these people, Jake aside.  
  
"Jensen, you and I don't always see eye to eye and I think you're an idiot but, I look up to you," Jake says. "And I don't think you're the asshole you portray yourself to be - hell, I've read your gross love songs. I also watched Jared spend the past three weeks looking after you without stopping to take care of himself. So, the ships are the _last_ thing you need to be worrying about."  
  
Jake's message is a little unclear so Jensen skips past the whole _read your love songs_ part and asks about Chris instead.  
  
"What about Chris? What happens to him?" Everyone begins to look uncomfortable at the mention of Chris' name and he wonders what he's missing. Jared said that Chris was okay. That he was in jail. Jensen can live with that. What he can't live with is the thought of someone being hurt -- or worse, dead -- because of him.  
  
"He's in jail," Aldis confirms uneasily. "And we may or may not have somehow helped Sheppard escape the island after we left him there because Jared asked us to."  
  
"You left Sheppard on the island?" Jensen doesn’t know why he's surprised but he is. Maybe the infection has done something to his brain or he's just sensitive over leaving anyone on an abandoned island but he can't help feeling guilty. Even more so when Aldis's words really sink in.

Jared asked them to free Sheppard.  
  
Jake jostles Sandy slightly as he pulls a face and says, "That's not even the worst of it."  
  
Outside, there are a series of car horns beeping erratically and it reminds Jensen of Aldis's various machines. He shakes his head wearily and tries to focus on the matter at hand.  
  
Sandy elbows Jake and smiles at Jensen sweetly. "Ignore him. Sheppard escaped and definitely didn't try and seek revenge. The end."  
  
Caroline shoots Sandy a dark look and earns one from Jake in return.  
  
"Sheppard released your sex tape," Chad blurts out; waving his hand dismissively when everyone groans at him. "What? He was going to find out eventually."  
  
"For what it's worth, the tape wasn't half bad," Katie comments from where she's stationed at the breakfast bar. Given that she's been on her phone since Jensen came out, he's surprised that she's been following the admittedly haphazard conversation.  
  
"You _watched_ the tape?" Jensen asks.  
  
Sandy shrugs, her glossy brown hair cascading down her shoulders as she moves. "We all did. It's all over the Internet."  
  
If they all did then that means that….  
  
"I have to find Jared," he mutters angrily.

Fucking Sheppard and his bullshit pirate complex.  
  
"Wait, you might need this first," Aldis calls out as he hands Jensen a crumpled package. It's been open but it's the messy handwriting that catches his attention.  
  
It's Chris's.  
  
He tears it open quickly and pulls out a chain and a piece of paper. He unfolds it first, desperate for any of closure or reason.  
  
_I know that sorry will never be enough but maybe this well. And maybe you can finally be happy_ .  
-C  
  
He folds the paper back and holds up the chain.

Resting in the center is the ring he was supposed to give Jared all of those years ago.  
  
~

  
Jared is sitting in the private gardens outside of the hotel on a dirt brown bench surrounded by what look like begonias and other flowers that Jensen can't name. He doesn't look particularly sad, more speculative than anything but still, if he'd seen a sex tape of Jared he'd be kind of crushed. So he's willing to do as much grovelling as possible. Or well, as much as he can before he needs to take a nap. He stifles a yawn as he approaches Jared, with the ring firmly in his hand.

The ring is a rusty gold colour, refined with layered scallops that taper into a center containing a large green emerald affixed to a layer of yellow gold, surrounded by an array of small diamonds. Back during that particular treasure hunt he'd caught Jared eyeing it appreciatively at times. If he could do things differently he would have gone to get the ring himself and give it to Jared properly.  
  
He steps forward and holds it out, only noticing the adjoining bench and two young women on said bench. Their gasps alert Jared to his presence and they break out into a flurry of chattering and cell phone waving before he can say anything.  
  
In his haste to get them to leave him and Jared in peace he blurts out, "I came back to give you your ring."  
  
The girls’ excited noises change into sympathetic ones and Jensen plays the words back in his head and grimaces. Before he can clarify, they gather their items and leave quickly.  
  
The cool breeze sways past them gently and Jensen allows it to propel him forward. He hesitates momentarily before he takes a seat next to Jared on the bench.  
  
"You're probably going to end up on TMZ again," Jared tells him with an amused look.  
  
Jensen snorts. "Yeah, I think I'm kind of out of TMZ's demographic. Failed record executive of a non-entity record label doesn't exactly bring in the page hits."  
  
Jared laughs easily. "Ah, but you're a failed exec with a _sex tape_. You've officially hit the big time. Hell, maybe Ryan Seacrest will give you a reality show."

Jensen grunts in annoyance. First of all _fuck Ryan Seacrest._ Jensen’s never forgiven the man for rubbishing Buoy Life on his radio show. Secondly, Jared doesn't sound too upset over the tape but Jensen knows that it can't have been easy viewing. He's also not sure what the protocol is for this kind of situation . Do Hallmark make ' _Sorry You Saw My Sloppy Sex Tape?_ ' greeting cards?  
  
"I'm sorry that you had to see that," he apologises eventually for the lack of anything better to say.  
  
To his surprise, Jared grins. "I'm not. You were kind of insistent that we not leave anyone on that island so I had to come up with some kind of way to get Sheppard back. And that meant dealing with the consequences."  
  
"Is he in jail too?" Jensen asks, because he knows Sheppard. He's a crafty individual with a knack for slithering out of uncomfortable situations.  
  
"Even better," Jared replies brightly. "On the run. It turns out that he's been blackmailing a lot of powerful people. Aldis worked his computer magic and they all got their compromising material back, along with Sheppard’s name and picture."  
  
Jensen can't help cracking a smile of his own. He has to admit that is the perfect method of revenge. And hey, nobody got hurt. Well, not yet at least but that's no longer his problem.  
  
All that's left to resolve now is...  
  
He holds up the ring again and extends it to Jared. It's not a marriage proposal - it never will be given how he's watched his father make a mockery of marriage over and over again. No, he's good on that front. Still, this ring has always been his to give to Jared and finally he's righting a wrong that he made many years ago.  
  
"I can't believe that Chris held onto this for so long," he murmurs. "I thought someone had stolen it."  
  
Jared's smile fades as he looks at the ring, his eyes flashing darkly. Jensen can still picture the panicked look on his face when Chris forcefully  said that Jared had to be punished, can still remember the unbridled fear in his chest as he considered a punishment that wouldn't be fatal.  
  
"Technically Chris did steal it," Jared answers and perhaps tellingly, ignores Jensen’s outstretched hand.  
  
"Chris doesn't matter anymore," Jensen tells him, "but _you_ do. And Caroline's probably going to punch me in the face for making this as unromantic as possible but can we try again? Just you and me. As a team. Like we were before."  
  
Given that Jared’s still here and that he tended to Jensen when he was sick, the chances of him saying no are slim but his heart is still in his mouth when Jared looks down at the ring once again.

After what seems like an age, he reaches forward and takes it from Jensen’s hand. Jensen shivers at the brief skin on skin contact and looks up to catch Jared slipping it onto his left hand.

“So, I guess this is the part where I'm reunited with my second glass slipper and my gown and tiara magically reappear, huh?” he says teasingly.

Jensen's eager anticipation dies as if it's been doused with water.

“That was my way of saying yes, by the way,” Jared adds hastily when he catches Jensen's fallen expression.

Jensen glares at him. “Like how poisoning me was your way of saying ‘ _I'm not over you_ ’?”

He's not mad, he just doesn’t appreciate Jared making light of his grand gesture.

Jared smiles innocently. “I might need to work on just saying what I mean. And what I mean is that, I'd love to try. To be a team. On one condition?”

Jensen shifts closer to Jared and tries to tamp down the swirl of excitement threatening to erupt in his chest.

“Oh yeah, what's that?” he asks in a husky tone. It sounds ridiculous to his own ears but whatever, the last person he chatted up was that parking attendant near Walgreen’s and she gave him a ticket anyway. So what if he's a little bit rusty?

Jared inches closer and practically whispers, “No more boy bands.”

Before Jensen can argue Jared yanks him forward, eliminating any space between them before his lips are finally on his. Even though they can hear the faint sounds of the city's traffic in the distance, the idyllic setting of the garden provides them with a stillness. To Jensen, it's like they're the only ones here and all that matters is the pressure of Jared's mouth on his and the way his heart races for _real_. Not the pale imitation that happened whenever he got close to someone else, but the passionate, climax building speed that he hasn't felt since he and Jensen parted and--

\--it's possible that he's watched too many rom-coms and read too many romance novels but he doesn't need those anymore.

Not when he finally has his missing piece right here in front of him.

And he's sure that in time, Jared will grow to appreciate his musical prowess _and_ his boy bands.

They're a _team_ after all.

**Fin**.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I owe a huge thank you to **Candygramme** for patiently waiting for me to finish. I had a whole host of issues to contend with while writing this which is why it has taken me so long. That's no excuse, though, so I can only apologise for my tardiness. I'm sorreeeee. It also ended up being rather self-indulgent, but hey, it could be worse. :P Anyway it was fun to write a full on crack story even if I did slip in some angst. I am not promising timestamps but I do have an idea for a brief follow up. Clearly Pirate Records needs to be resurrected! Lol. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys the story. Thanks. -bh


End file.
